Tuesday, June 30, 2009

thinking my way out

  • it has been a rough month for me-
  • missing the papa man so much
  • part of this is that Miss Ashley is gone so much now
  • and that is how it should be.......
  • I do not want her to have to baby sit Meme
  • I want her to have a fun time in this part of her life
  • there is still some growing to do
  • and you can be grown up for a long time
  • once all is said and done-
  • my widow friend of three years came
  • for tea day and she assured me that
  • I am being normal considering the
  • circumstances but boy normal
  • sure can hurt......
  • the days seem so long and then there are the nights
  • the hardest part of day is shutting off the lights
  • around the house-
  • I am keeping my faith and following
  • my Shepherd---
  • I need to finish a few small business things
  • and then it will be just me.
  • I know that God is in control and I
  • try very hard not to question Him about
  • His plans---
  • I am glad June is over....last June was the heavy
  • month on the cancer journey ----it was
  • all the endings of what dear papa hubby
  • was able to do......it was the worst of times
  • Tomorrow is new day and a new month
  • I will carry on.......
  • hugs from Meme

3 comments:

Terry said...

hi meme,
i wanted to come here and see your "happy canada day" greeting.
everyday i have seen the count down on your blog and it did my heart good that you are just as patriotic of canada as the americans are of the states.

then i read your post and i can just feel your loneliness, and it makes me feel so bad.
you are so young and yet you have gone through so much and i don't even know what to say to you.
my sister, grace who lost her husband to cancer when he was just 28 and she was about 24 still misses him especially on his birthday and on her anniversary day.
she raised the four children with the lords help but i still can see the saddeness in her by times.
i think true love like you have for papa hubby will never dim meme and i just feel how even though you are clinging to the lord and he is holding you, your heart is still hurting....i will pray for you and that is all i can do dear meme.
i hope that in alberta, you will enjoy canada day....god bless you..love terry

Linda said...

I can imagine what you are going through. I will be holding you up in prayer. You are blessed to have had a wonderful man. Linda

Mrs. Mac said...

My thoughts AND prayers are with you dear one. You are not alone for you walk with God. May he wipe your tears soon and replace a bit of joy in your heart in good time.

Hugs,