Thursday, April 30, 2009

Meme skipping

Meme is skipping.....
alas- not exercising but skipping the Internet
my hours seem to be short this last week or two
and it is not the weather of spring yet
we have had some snow nearly every day
so our spring chores are delayed
and I am not accomplishing a lot but I
am content to do next to nothing
for a while
on Tuesday I stayed in jammies and bed with tea and crackers
and the dog and had a nice rest
napped and channel changed=
it was of good of papa hubby to leave the remote here--LOL
I am feeling like the stone of grief has moved from my heart
and although the grief is there I can see light -
I laugh more now and I am seeing pieces of Meme
coming back.....I know that papa hubby would want that
his name is no longer on the member list at church because
he moved on--
that was a big step for me to realize that he has no earthly
cares and pain and grief- and he left so much joy behind
plus a lot wood and rocks and saws and tools and magazines
and his model cars and so on and so on
and precious memories-
I was thinking of one tale
tonight which I will share soon and
we can laugh together=
How good God is............
sharing a unknown author's thoughts

''the Lord is my shepherd,
my Father and friend
He comforts me in loneliness
His kindness knows no end-
He fills my home with memories
and quiet thoughts to keep,
He fills my heart with hope
and joy and peace...
as I face the world again --
hugs from Meme

Monday, April 27, 2009

the me in Meme

  • some little things about me that I may have told before
  • but they are worth telling again :-)
  • 1./ I love colored socks- any color but the brighter the better
  • I do have one pair of white socks but only wear them in case
  • of an emergency--
  • 2./ I like sugar in my tea- unless it is strong tea that someone makes- I
  • generally like my tea medium - I go by the color- LOL
  • 3./ I am skinny as a bean pole and have always been on the thin side
  • daddy was slim as well as his sister- my brother weights twice what I
  • weigh but he is taller and he weighs 200 pounds
  • 4./now you know that I have one brother - mom and dad are gone - I have 2
  • daughters and 6 grandchildren
  • 5./ I was born in the same town that I live now-
  • but I was raised on a farm out west- not quite the wild west but close and
  • I live in Alberta, Canada and have never been out of Canada-
  • 6./I have been a christian since 1987 and have never looked back- the old
  • life is gone and I am a new creation- The Lord is my shepherd.

that is all folks for this time- hugs from Meme

Sunday, April 26, 2009


I have had a good week
keeping my peace with hope
but peace is not with out sorrow
I went up stairs this week and began
to take papa hubby's world on earth
this is difficult as he was such a hobby man
wood work - hockey cards- comic books- rocks
and anything else that took up his time
plus a lot of etc. :-)
he enjoyed these things and also was a keeper
and it is difficult to sort through his treasures
and decide what to toss and what to keep and
what to give away-
He made beautiful diamond willow walking sticks
and canes from scratch- he cut the trees -dried them
and peeled the bark and etc- it is quite an interesting
hobby and requires hard work and patience--
the cancer came so fast and so hard that he
never had the time to organize or clean up his things
and he fussed about that but I assured that all
was well and that I could do it for him later
it is later now and he no longer has need of
his earth treasures but I am glad that he had them
he used to drink in bars and was a bit on the wild side
and then in 1972 he came home and said that he
was not going to drink anymore as he could see how it
was hurting me and he never did!!
he just quit and asked
God to replace his alcohol with something else and
God did and He gave papa hubby a love for nature -
He could find pictures in rocks and wood-
He make rings and things with the rocks after
he cut them and polished them and
he just knew how to pick out the art of God
so now as I go through his things I find treasures too
a lot I will give to family members- no matter the value
things are things on earth and heaven is coming
I think of being on this side of heaven and papa
hubby is on the other side and our love
is eternal-
what a wonderful thing to know the plans that
God has for each us-
hugs from Meme

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

checking in....

I am getting behind on blogging
but I have been enjoying the fresh air and sunshine
I am doing ok
I did not think I would ever be ok again
but I am.......the grief is quiet for now
I remember when our kids were little and how
at the age of two they would want to be to independent
but every once in a while they would suddenly cling
to us even if they knew we were just leaving the room
and would return.....
and trying to untangle a two year old who has decided
to hang on to a leg was no small feat- and I remember
how I would bend down and pick them up and hold
them and reassure them that mama loved them and would
not go away -
and that is how this grief is----I know Jesus is with me
but sometimes I have to just hang on to Him for dear life
as if He was going to leave the room with out me and He
does bend down and pick me up and hold me and love me
and reassure me- that He is my comforter and shepherd
and we will go or not go together..........
He loves me and you......and that is enough for me-
have a wonder week and I will try to report in with
a tale or two--
hugs from Meme

Friday, April 17, 2009


  • I saw this quote today on a bookmark in one of our old books
  • I am clearing out books and of course. keeping most
  • they are 99 percent christian and the other are books like
  • ''Little Women"" -- when we became Christians we got rid
  • of anything that we did not want our kids or grand-kids
  • or friends to read- had a big bonfire out at a friend's farm
  • and we have be blessed ever so much by reading God's Word
  • and books God approved.........
  • oh, I for got - the quote
  • here it is
  • I know that I can rejoice each day but I have to admit
  • my leaps are not too high- the old knees do not like the landing
  • it has frog on the bookmark
  • and a frog stuffie was papa's keeper
  • that Miss Ashley gave him after cancer
  • He had Ugly frog with him in the hospital
  • Ugly is the name as it is ugly-LOL
  • but it gave papa something to say when
  • the nurses would ask- why a frog?
  • because papa could tell to
  • == F R O G
  • well, Meme needs to rest now and I just wanted to
  • wish everyone a wonder weekend
  • hugs from Meme

Thursday, April 16, 2009


  • this morning I was having one of those "" why""" moments
  • why God?
  • why papa hubby?
  • why me?
  • and then I heard that small quiet voice
  • that we all can hear when we listen with our heart
  • and then I knew that all the crys
  • of my heart have been answered
  • that God was in control
  • that God was right
  • and that God so loved papa David
  • that He gave his beloved and only son so
  • that David did not perish but has everlasting life-
  • and this afternoon I was sitting on the balcony
  • with Dogman on his loveseat (yes, Dogman has
  • his own loveseat outside too)
  • and the sun was shining on us
  • and the breeze was warm
  • and the world was silent
  • and all was well with my soul.
  • I had peace beyond understanding
  • He is my shelter from the storm-
  • hugs from Meme

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

the Sliver

  • today Miss Ashley got a sliver in her hand-(she is dear grand daughter-19- who lives full time with Oma now due to family issues )
  • Now papa hubby was the doctor hug in our house- he dealt with the blood and bruises and slivers and the tears- Oma was back up...........
  • Miss Ashley broke down and cried and cried for her papa - she would not let Oma help except to listen - she needed papa- I got her supplies- needle and tweezers and kleenex
  • she did get it out on her own with many tears- it was not the pain of the sliver that made tears but that papa was not there to do it or comfort her........but I am so proud of her as she worked both the sliver and the tears out-
  • it is important for her to cry also - she was a blessing to her papa in his cancer journey
  • she was here for him from the first day and did not shy away from helping him- she even cut his hair for him and lifted him in bed for comfort and the last night before his home
  • coming she held his eyes open for his to see- his muscles were too weak - she just knew what to do and he would always thank her - she knew he wanted to see us and she knew how long to hold them open and then let them rest- it gave papa a rather surprised look and we all had a memory making laugh-
  • the nurses were surprised that a teen age girl would spend so much time with him and do careful caring things for him- she taught them a lot about love .........
  • so you- see- the sliver was more than a sliver- it was a memory -
  • she is fine now and we both talked about papa being safe from slivers in his eternal life-
  • huggles from Meme who is still learning.....

Monday, April 13, 2009

I cannot walk alone.........

  • I thought that I could manage my grief by this time- but thoughts of mine
  • are not the Lords- His thoughts and plans are good for me and my future
  • and so He guides me in the grief- I do not know where I am at except past the
  • beginning - I thought I could run away from the grief and I thought I could
  • walk alone in the grief- but I can do neither
  • I had a opinion that some how grief effected my relationship or walk
  • with the Lord- I thought that I should have it all together by now but I
  • did not trust in Lord's timing........
  • I can say that the grief is less painful and more joyful
  • I know- it is hard to understand this joy.........but as I miss the world
  • that I had - I see a new world opening for me- a world with out papa hubby
  • but a world with memories of him as husband- father- papa -
  • Papa hubby has gone to his new home and the Lord is preparing a place
  • for me also but until He takes me home
  • I must put my trust in Him and follow what ever path He leads me on-
  • I believe that grief will always be a part of our walk because grief is
  • a result of love-
  • so some days I will come with tears and some days I will come
  • with laughter
  • but my friends- I will come because I cannot walk this journey
  • alone and I know that the Lord is leading to touch the hearts of
  • others - friends are gifts from God
  • and while I am talking and walking my/our
  • Lord is my shepherd
  • He will not leave me alone
  • and He will not leave you alone
  • hugs from Meme

Friday, April 10, 2009

pretty blogs ---------

  • just enjoying so many pretty blogs and noticing how artistic many of you are
  • I debated the fine art of making a pretty blog
  • but so far my artistic side is plain and simple
  • next fall I may take a course in shining up my blog
  • a few ladies on some blogs have offered to help me
  • I am a slow learner right now - so decided- to wait...
  • I need to go back to my normal writing one day soon
  • so far my mind thinks mostly in points or bullets--
  • and commas and capitals have gone south-
  • I am having a harder time getting back to
  • who I was
  • it is almost as if I cannot remember who I was
  • I was a part of a whole - but not a half- together the two of us
  • made one and now I do not know how to go back
  • but I know that the Lord who made us two into one
  • loves me in what ever state of a fraction I am-
  • He will put the pieces together again
  • and I will be whole again
  • the nights are not so long now
  • and the days have more sunshine
  • spring has sprung--
  • have a wonderful week end
  • keep walking with the King
  • He loved us enough to die for you and me
  • and He has risen- He has risen, indeed!
  • hugs from Meme

Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Me in We......

  • I realize that I have not told you a lot of things
  • about me as my mind is still caught in the grief
  • so here is a bit of this and that's
  • I was raised on a farm - with one brother
  • my father was a homesteader and born
  • on his father's homestead in 1910 ( grandpa came from Sweden)
  • mother was also a homesteader's daughter(grandpa came from Scotland)
  • they lived about 3 miles a part -
  • brother has the original homestead now -just over 100 years old
  • the farm that is ..not brother Bill-LOL
  • we did not have running water- unless we ran and got it
  • or indoor plumbing of any kind
  • the old out house is still standing
  • and father and mother build a modern house in 1970
  • our heat was wood cut from the homestead trees
  • dried for a year and then sawed into logs for the heater
  • and split for the kitchen cook stove
  • coming to town was quite an experience for me
  • to have bath tubs and taps and a stove
  • that turned on with buttons
  • I was raised to be a wife........
  • and married at what would be considered now
  • as young but was normal in my life.
  • I was 18 and papa hubby was 27 -
  • he was never considered too old for me--LOL
  • that was how life was in the fifties and sixties
  • we had 2 daughters- Bonita and Tammy
  • I worked part time but only jobs that I was able
  • to do when papa hubby was home so our
  • kids were not baby sat often........
  • I took an rehabilitation practitioner course
  • and worked for 15 years at a group home
  • this was during a time when hubby was injured
  • with his back and had 6 back fusions
  • sadly none of them helped and he was
  • disabled the last 12 years but still very independent
  • we spent most of our time together--
  • when one or the other was not working
  • we did not ever become rich in money
  • but we were rich in love........
  • we both gave our hearts to the Lord in 1987
  • and began our walk with the our Shepherd..
  • I, from watching Billy Graham and papa hubby
  • at the little pentecostal church I made him go too-
  • that is a funny story but I was scared to go
  • as I had heard so many strange stories
  • and when we got there- we discovered a lot of
  • normal folks went there too-LOL
  • we were so blessed by God in that church
  • but sadly it broke down when our pastor retired
  • and many members left -
  • because we took our grand kids to church and
  • we needed one with a Sunday School.. so
  • we found a new church for them- Papa hubby
  • took grand kids to church for 18 years- and
  • I am so glad we/he did........we/I attend a church of the
  • Nazarene now - at papa hubby's memorial service
  • our dear pentecostal pastor was there for us too
  • you will get to notice other things about me as
  • I write here- I am more of an introvert and
  • I will be 61 in May and I don't feel a day over 60 (grin)
  • I clean our church to help my income now that hubby is gone--
  • I love the Lord and I am so thankful for what He has done for me
  • I hang on to my hope--as -- I miss my papa hubby
  • whose name was David Allan- and I know that he
  • is indeed in peace with no pain or sickness or disabilities
  • huggles from Meme

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Clearing out

  • this year's spring cleaning is really a clearing out
    it is hard to imagine how many things a couple
    will hang on to and now that I am alone
    the things- have less meaning
    so I have been busy clearing out =
    papa hubby was a keeper of things
    and he often kept them in various places
    so I run into things all the time
    some times it is a good find
    like yesterday finding a special silver dollar
    from the royal canadian mint- 2006
    complete in case and unopened
    made of fine silver
    it is to celebrate something but I
    can not guess what and I do not want to dig
    it out of the case right now - need gloves for that
    that was papa hubby's rule--LOL
    then to day I found that we paid all our household
    bills in 2000 - so I shredded them with no gloves
    I found a quote also but with no author
    I will share it with you as I think that it
    applies well to my new life
    I am doing that as I move in this journey- some days I stand still--
    some days I fall down- some days I get up and some days I take a step
    but I always stay with my SHEPHERD-
    I will continue to clear out as I move along this journey
    have a wonder filled day tomorrow
    and pause for a moment to tell someone
    you love- that you love them and give them
    a meme hug
    huggles from Meme

Monday, April 6, 2009


  • what a lovely weather day- sunshine and soft breeze
  • and melting snow**
  • when I walked down town I had on no hat or gloves
  • this is the first time in 2009 for the gloves and the second day for the hat
  • the grand daughter and I went to do some small shopping
  • and then I stopped off and did the church chores-
  • Miss Ashley rested while I did them because
  • her feet hurt--LOL- and I thought I was the older lady
  • alas she is still a teen which means she buys shoes for looks
  • and not comfort.........
  • we had a nice day outing together
  • and we found the neatest book
  • called ---"I Remember Grandpa''
  • It is like a journal where you put all sorts of
  • special memories of grandpa so Oma is going
  • to do them with the girls-(I got each of the g'kids one)
  • Miss Ashley is old enough
  • to put in her memories-
  • they will be a wonderful
  • journal for the younger kidlets and if we do them
  • together Oma can help them with some of the
  • memories- there are places for photos etc- and
  • the nice thing is that they were at a dollar store(which
  • is why I could give one to each of the g'kidlets-
  • they are made with good quality paper etc -
  • and have a family tree to also follow and
  • questions and ideas and a lot of room to write in
  • the memories-------
  • so I was pleased- I find that the Lord
  • gives me so many blessings to help
  • all of us walk in our grief-
  • sometimes non christians cannot understand
  • how I can have joy in my grief
  • I tell them that my joy is a gift from the Lord
  • and a gift that Papa hubby prayed for me
  • before his home-coming-
  • have a wonder-filled week
  • huggles from Meme

Sunday, April 5, 2009

coffee blessing

before papa hubby became sick in December of 2007
we would have a special coffee time
together each day- French vanilla instant cappuccino-
it was sort of like a date-
it was a nice time of day for us to just share this and that--
after he came home from the hospital with cancer
we still had our coffee once a day-
papa David was not able to drink the whole cup anymore but he loved
the bubbles (foam) and I would share my bubbles with him-
even his last few days he was able to have his bubbles
but unable to drink the coffee
as he had difficulty swallowing.
after he passed away when I went to the store they were out
of our coffee---
there were other brands but this was the special brand that
he and I enjoyed together
it has been out of stock since last Augest-
and today when I was with Ashley we found some-
yes- the same brand and the same price :-)
I came home and it was so nice to sit down and enjoy
a cup of our coffee and also tell Ashley the bubble story
it was a happy memory and I enjoyed the coffee
and even though, he is not here to share the bubbles
I had a blessing in the heart-