My week ----------

• I must say that this week did zip by quickly
• even though I was alone most of the time
• Miss Ashley went to visit other grandma and
• was blessed by going to see the ''Lion King.
• she enjoyed it and just her and grandma went.
• she did come yesterday for a shower and a briefing
• LOL and now has gone to take care of her sisters
• for the week end
• so Dogman and I have had to keep ourselves busy
• and off the street.
• the weather has been nice and we had a few storms
• pass by but left no damage behind.
• I am learning the art of loneliness and
• how one must keep on getting up and
• going forward. I must say that getting up
• is easy but staying up takes discipline.
• Dogman does not drag enough dirt into the house
• or dirty many dishes so I have to find other ways
• to improve our day and keep our minds stayed
• on following the Shepherd.
• Now it is Saturday night and we are both watching
• the cooking channel when ever the curse (f) is not on-
• I just cannot see how using one word over and over
• adds to our entertainment. Nor does it have any teaching value.
• I admit too that most of those recipes
• they so cheerful show us are not recipes I will use
• nor will my kitchen ever look so glamorous nor
• will some one set out all the ingredients pre-measured
• in those pretty little dishes so I can bake the perfect
• pie or cake. Calorie free too.
• But they are fun to watch and dream about.
• Of course, being me I do find many other things
• to keep me busy.
• I am off now to check the doors and send Dogman
• to his pee patch.
• Have a wonder week end and hug some one
• and spread some smiles.
• The Lord is my Shepherd!
• huggles from Meme

a friendship kit

• found this little idea on the net a while ago and was
• thinking of making mine up to share
• so I will share the directions with you
• FRIENDSHIP KIT
• rubber-bands to hold friends close
• tissues to dry a tear
• recipes to make and share
• stationary to stay in touch
• bible verses to express God's love
• prayers to keep your friend in mind
• a pencil to journal the heart in
• a note book with lines
• put all in a cloth bag to avoid carbon footprints

have fun and Meme will see you soon-

no plans

• alas I did not want to get up this morning as I was thinking I had nothing to do-
• now that is a silly thought for an old woman but as a habit
• I usually plan out things in my head the night before
• of a few things I must do or could do
• but forgot to think things out which means I convinced myself
• of a lazy day------ha!
• but I did get up and soon saw there were things to do
• the sun was shining after a 2 days of rain so I knew
• I could weed------that is the best time as weeds come up
• root and all-- and of course, there are always a few house
• chores jumping out of the sink or the laundry hamper
• I also walked down to the library and stopped off at a store
• I only spent a quarter-- LOL
• but had a chat with one lady friend
• then the kids came and the kids went
• and I did have a nap- quite unintentional as I was
• watching the news but cuddled in a blanket
• as I was cool as even though the sun shone
• it was a cool day outside and in........
• I am doing ok here- soon fall will be here and
• all the church activities will return
• there is not much to go to in this town
• that does not include alcohol -
• I decided when papa hubby died that I
• would not compromise my beliefs because
• I am lonely-
• summer times does seem the time to be lonely
• (my widow friends agree as they too miss the church action)
• ----if you are a christian widow so many folks
• are coming and going and most regular programs
• take a leave of absence
• I do walk every day which is good for me
• but shopping is again hard as we do not have
• many stores.......the windows do not change too often-
• but I will continue this journey
• depending on the Lord as the
• Lord is my shepherd.

Not in Control

• I have always been a A to Z type of lady who likes things to go
• step by step in order so when ( December 19, 2007) the phone rang
• and papa hubby said-- ''honey, I have terminal cancer and there
• is nothing the doctor can do but keep me comfortable'';
• my world
• ended as I knew it and I stepped into the unknown.
• It was the worst of the worst and the shock just overwhelmed me/
• First of all, we did not expect the results the same day that
• the tests were done-or I would have been with David but
• I had a dental appointment we had made some time ago
• and due to the problem being my dentures; I had to leave
• the bottom teeth behind and come home semi-toothless. but
• most of all we never expected the words terminal and nothing
• to be added to the words---''you have cancer.
• I do not drive so I was expecting my grand daughter to come
• later to take me to the hospital.
• I remember that waiting.......we had not set a certain time
• so all I had to do was be ready and wait.
• Those few hours were the most agonizing hours I spent
• during David's cancer journey-and in our marriage.
• I remember being able to do [nothing] and
• laying on the kitchen floor sobbing with Dogman
• - I could not think or breath or call for help-
• I was totally helpless and alone-
• I remember begging God to help us and show me what to do
• I remember the kids were later than I expected
• and I did not know who to tell so I told no one.
• I remember wondering how I would be able to tell anyone?
• What words do you say- ? How do you explain terminal to
• your children and your grand children.? what does ''nothing
• really mean? what does comfortable mean ?
• What do you say to friends - family- ? How do you
• tell them a story that you cannot believe in?
• I knew David was not alone as our pastor called
• and said he would stay with him- but my heart was
• broken and alone.
• I remember that I had not melted down
• like a confused child since I had left home
• over 40 years ago. And I remember that I could only lay
• there and sob and beg- I remember the patterns of
• saw dust on the rug which was part of papa as he was
• a wood worker and sawdust followed him-every where
• I looked I saw proof of papa hubby existence -
• The kids did come and we left and I said nothing
• Ashley was napping in the backseat when the boy
• who is a friend asked about papa and I do not
• remember his questions but I know the words I said
• were --yes-- and ---no.
• I remember Ashley crying out about what I meant
• and I remember that I had only 3 miles to tell her
• and I knew I could not lie--I could not soften the blow
• I had to tell her that her papa was too sick to get better
• I remember we were crying and some how we got to that
• city hospital and found money for parking and
• then we went off to find our papa- we dream walked
• and set smiles on our broken hearts---
• I still remember his smile when we walked in and I
• remember him saying ''lets all cry together and then we
• will be ok'. and we
• some how managed to crawl into his bed
• and hold each other and cry - and I knew that from
• that minute onward that no matter what happened we
• would survive because love held us together.
• I still did not understand that David's death meant survival
• for him but that is another story.
• And I knew that we could not control what was happening=
• because there were no more rules to follow and the steps
• were not ours to make- the alphabet was scrambled.
• and that God was in control and that we would
• follow Him through the valley and up the mountain.
• We would fall and we would stumble but we kept following
• to the end of the journey for David and the beginning of
• a journey for me.
• some would wonder why the doctor would be so brutally honest
• but David was the kind of guy who wanted to know all--
• even what he did not want to hear-,
• And so our journey began with no map or plans-
• and nothing to pack-------
• but we were blessed because
• The Lord was our shepherd!

I need to catch up...

• here I am reading and summering and forgot that I should be writing too
• we have had nice weather but did have major storm warnings tonight
• but where ever the storm was - it did not pass by here.
• The kids are great ones for the weather channel
• and they find it hard to believe that Meme
• does it the old fashioned way--
• I look out the window-LOL
• I have to admit too that I have been sluffing off the chores
• for another day.
• I have not gone to any lakes this year or sunny beaches
• I remember we would take the kids and then the g'kids
• to different lakes close by and let them run about
• in the sand and in some cases dip toes into the water.
• Where did we get the energy ?
• Miss Sidney was here for an over night
• and just watching her move about
• made me tired.
• She has gone camping now for two nights
• This is her first big ''away from home"" trip
• She comes here often but coming here is just like
• being at home.
• She has crayons and paper and books and toys
• to scatter around.
• so now Meme has shared a tale: I will go to bed
• huggles

Friday Frogs

• did that title get you over here?
• no, Meme has not gone to the frogs
• she just a double sick days here
• so has been sleeping off and on
• and maintaining some of the chores
• have to keep the floor for Dogman
• and some dishes too------
• It was pleasant to have a few moments
• of simply being instead of doing
• I suffer from busyness and I
• and learning that idle hands are ok
• now and then-
• I must have been tired
• as my naps increased but
• I feel better now
• my house did not suffer from me
• leaving it alone for a day or two
• and Dogman was quite happy
• to nap with me====
• Ashley just came and went and
• came back again
• and she did not lack anything
• except maybe my company--LOL
• I am working on the busyness as
• I am to old to go like the pink bunny
• have a wonder filled week end
• hugs from Meme

cool and wet day

• summer feels like it is over for us already
• we were cool enough to put the furnace on
• long enough to cheer up the house
• it does keep the thunder storms at bay
• and so the rain is simple.....
• I had a rather easy day here
• I could have put more into it but
• I didn't have any ''must do today '' projects
• I did clean out my closet - and found
• a few things that can leave the building
• with my tummy being so bad I am
• finding a lot of clothes I can not longer wear
• they are just too painful and so I don't bother
• I hope I never become a half naked lady
• even elastic pants hurt me- and forget the metal button jeans
• I am debating on skirts but need to be warm
• so if anyone has ideas that would help
• me be fully clothed and warm and still be a lady
• please let me know--------
• I wish we could find some cotton dresses here
• Meme is going to have to find a new wardrobe
• that is suitable for a tom-girl-
• take care and keep hugging your loved ones
• I miss papa hubby's hugs
• huggles from Meme

Meme's hope

• a while ago I started a blog called Joy and Hope Road
• where I planned to post of my pictures and tell the story
• as I remember( it) that goes with the photo---------
• and of course, I promptly forgot
• but now that Miss Ashley helped me down load
• most of my photos and I am learning to take more-
• I can get on with it------
• and also I am writing another blog called
• Lessons from a clutter Princess
• this is a fun blog written-- with some laughter and tears
• and also to be read with
• with a grain of salt and a dash of pepper
• so why??
• Because I am worn down and sick from grief
• so I need something to do to turn me around
• and I like writing even though I can never
• remember the commas and periods.........
• and I will write the princess blog in rough
• and then of course, essentially clean it up
• (re all those punctuations that I miss)
• and publish it for my daughters and grand daughters=
• I have to start leaving my grief behind as
• I can not keep focus on it now--I am too tired'''
• and my grief is becoming unhealthy
• I would grieve hard and forever if
• it would bring back papa to me-
• My love for him is eternal but
• my grief is not...........I have nothing left to give to grief-
• I will wonder from blog to blog and if you
• check my dashboard- it will take you right there.
• I hope that you will take a look and see
• and that some of my words will encourage you.

hugs from Meme

looking for my friends

• I am going to take a peek and see what you are all up too
• I know that it is really too nice to be blogging
• right now- we have storms and it is late
• but I am waiting for Miss Sidney to go to bed
• she has one half hour to go........
• I am hoping we keep our power on as she is not
• a pioneer type of kid- LOL
• I have a surprise to share with you tomorrow
• and also have some chores to do
• so it may be late when I get here again-
• now I am off to read your doings
• summer hugs from Meme

quiet blog world

• it must be summer fun time as the blog world is quiet
• and I am quiet too-
• I am on a cleaning spree??
• that is on the days that it is not too hot here
• I did find another fan yesterday
• half price too which really helps
• we did have a horrid storm here yesterday
• no damage at my house but alas
• further north of our town
• one person was killed when a stage collapsed
• it does make on think about how our life is
• a short span and makes me think how I
• want to live the rest of my days
• I did join this ladies little blog to have
• some fun while organizing my house

http://parentingconfessions.blogspot.com/

It is a good thing for Meme to do and maybe some of you will enjoy

following also-

have a great day= and hug some one today-