surviving cancer

• I am following some women on blogs
• who are fighting and surviving
• breast cancer.
• I had a mammogram yesterday and I am sure that all is well
• as there were no indications of problems but it was my time...
• it was not too bad to have my cups turned into saucers
• I notice over the years so may improvements in the
• way the mammogram are done that it is so easy and
• almost pain free- and the wee amount of pain is worth
• the knowledge of knowing how you are doing.
• and it takes very little time, so " no time '' is
• not an excuse.
• My grand daughter asked me about mammograms today
• about when she should have one?
• of course, she has many years to go before
• she needs to have a mammogram but I got
• a chance to tell her how to check her breasts
• and that she should be checking
• at least once a month
• and what to look for--
• I gave her some web sites that are good for
• showing her what to do and in pictures.
• so the mammogram that I had was worth it
• to me and to her as it opened a door.
• Ladies- go have your mammogram if it is
• past due.
• Do it in honor of the ladies fighting breast cancer.
• and do it for your family. It is a good thing.
• and even though death ended papa hubby's
• cancer journey; I feel we both were cancer survivors.
• --hugs from Meme

cherrio blessings

I saw this quote the other day and it gave me a heart cheerio so
I thought that I would pass it on.

''You can touch my dust, but please don't write in it.''

author unknown but
I am sure the author was not Martha Stewart-LOL

I pray that each of you will take some time each day
to laugh. Remember when we were kids and we would
giggle at nothing. Too often we forget to use the
cheerios in our day. God often sends these cherrios as blessings
to heal our hearts.
Have a great rest of the week - and laugh a lot.

happy hugs from Meme

PAPA'S DRIVEWAY

When we first moved into this house our backyard where we parked was a muddy weed mixed with grass bog. Every time it rained we had to walk through or around puddles to get to the car. The kids always had dirty socks and fun playing in the puddles. And every winter was a night mare to get out of the yard.
We did not have the money to spend on fixing a drive way as there were always other needs. About ten years ago, papa decided that he wanted to fix the drive way so that we could get in and out with more ease and also escape the mud. We had no money so papa went to our local gravel yard with his truck and started bringing gravel home. They had a special pile of crushed gravel that was free if you loaded it yourself. He loaded it by shovel and unloaded and we needed many loads as we only had a half-ton and a big space to fill.
Once he got the gravel here- he then unloaded it by hand and started to make our drive-way.-It was hard work as he not only trucked in the gravel for the driveway, unloaded it but he also packed the gravel by hand. We could not afford to rent a packer. He made a special packer from his imagination that worked well so that our drive way was compact. He made the driveway wide enough for 2 vehicles plus wide path ways and brought it right to the balcony so we had no puddles to wade through.
-Because gravel settles into the mud he had to do this 3 times that summer and then the next summer he repeated the whole process twice. He was a hard worker and did all this in his spare time. He continued to add more gravel for two more summers and pack it by hand until he had the perfect driveway for our truck and car.All his neighbors were amazed that one man would and could do all that work by hand.
Every year a few weeds sneak in trying to grow in the gravel and papa would go after them with his weed killer.This year the weeds came again- not a lot but enough to annoy me and also if they are let go our drive way will become a weed garden and I was not willing to see that happen. Today I went out and dug out all the weeds by hand-- I do not know how to operate papa's weed pump and so I simply dug them out with a meat fork so that I could also get the roots. I filled a 5 gallon pail packed with the weeds.
It was a hard job kneeling on the gravel but it felt so good- I had such peace and joy to be doing something to honor papa hubby by keeping his drive way up to speed. I felt his joy of when he made the driveway.His joy was/is my joy.

HUGS FROM MEME

A WONDER DAY......

• I had a wonderful birthday yesterday.
• both daughters called---
• my brother called me and I received
• many many emails and I know a snail mail
• is coming soon too---
• and friends brought us over supper
• and although they could not stay
• for supper they had time for a visit-
• so it was a very good day for Meme
• I was blessed to write the ''Birthday Story''.
• even though it was bittersweet
• it was a day I wanted to share-
• as my gift to you.
• last year this time there was no time
• to write the story and the timing was not right.
• weather wise we had rain and sleet and snow and gray skies
• and then after supper a blue sky with some sunshine-and -clouds.
• it reminded me of this new journey-----
• that I am on.....we got through the weather yesterday
• and I will get through this journey -
• blue skies peeking through among the gray-
• sometimes rain and sometimes sun.
• all the things I need to grow.
• now Meme has overdone for her age-
• and I need to have an early rest tonight.
• Thank you for the wonderful greetings and
• for your gifts of prayer and encouragement
• that you have blessed me with this last year.
• hugs from Meme

A BIRTHDAY STORY

last year this time was my big 60 birthday
papa hubby had been looking forward to this date
since the day I turned 59 as he liked the fact
that we would be in the same decade--LOL
both in our sixties- this only happened for a year
and a bit as he was nearly 9 years older than me
but of course - last year was our cancer journey
and his plans had to go on hold........
but papa was not one to be defeated by cancer
when he made plans he made plans --
= so he talked to the pastor
and with ease- convinced the pastor to have
a cake at the church for me----the pastor had
to tell me a few days ahead of time as there
was no guarantee that papa would have the strength
to go to church that day---so it was decided that
I would go----with out him and Miss Ashley would
stay with papa-----but papa hubby was determined
to go and so Bonnie and I took him but late so that
he would have enough strength ---to last an hour or two-
we took him there with great care- and parked as
close to the front door we could so he did not have
to walk one step more than was needed-
he was very weak by then and taking a small step
was hard work ........
we got there and the deacons were waiting for him
and me and they helped him into the sanctuary
and because the pastor knew papa and I had
to come late to conserve his energy
he gave papa hubby a nice welcome as
papa had not been able to go since April
our church is small enough to do that
and every one knew papa hubby and his journey-
after the service we had cake in the main foyer
and we put papa hubby on a chair
everyone came to see him and shake his hand
he was so blessed
and it was a ''good bye'' time for him
and his friends
yes, it was my birthday and we ate cake too
but the day was really a honoring of David
we knew that there would be no more
Sunday outings for him as he could
barely walk- and sitting required too much
energy
and he got to see his two daughters in church
as the Ashley invited them too
and we all stood there around papa hubby
some one bought me flowers to add
to papa's special cake
it was a nice time and not long
as we/they knew papa was too weak
we brought him home and
he was so tired but happy
happy to give me a surprise and
happy to see his friends again
happy that his plans happened-
we both knew it was his last time
we knew that he could not walk much longer
his legs were like stove pipes( that is what the doctors call them
and his tummy
make him look pregnant as his body grew a water blister
around his cancer thinking to protect it from
the foreign body-(cancer does this to some patients)
also
he was going through
his chemo side effects but God gave him the strength
to go one more time -
looking back is bittersweet - but with thanksgiving
it is a birthday I will always remember-
his family all together and his church friends
shaking his hand and hugs and kisses
and praying for him and with him
it was a wonderful moment in time
that will always be in my heart
so that is my birthday story
and now today is another birthday
a new year for me...
and I am learning to live with out papa David
to celebrate the moments-
to count my blessings and
not the candles-
and to share the memories
that I hold in my heart.
hugs from Meme

SNOW DAY HERE

that is right- we got the SNOW and it is still on the ground- about 2 inches and maybe more tonight-we were organized enough to bring in Miss Ashley's planter boxes that had already come up- and the ones that were too big for us to lift I covered with glass windows(old and was going to toss but decided to keep for this very reason--LOL) and then blankets- I can only hope that this is warm enough to save them for her- now she knows why Oma says not to plant seeds in this part of Alberta before May 15- I know that the seeds can be replanted but she did it with such joy and excitement that I am praying to save them for her- on the grand scale of things this is small but to see Miss Ashley have joy is joy to me------so I shoveled snow today and also took advantage of the snow day to do nothing. I did tidy as I did normal daily living so the house is no worse than yesterday night and maybe even a little better.

hugs for SNOWY ALBERTA CANADA

sunshine adventure

• Miss Ashley got out papa hubby's big sander today
• and worked on a old
• bench we have on our front lawn-
• the sander is bigger that she is- well, almost
• but she tried hard and did well
• another day we will paid it---
• when I was watching her I could see that she was
• taking what she remembered papa doing...........
• we have to put on some new sand paper -
• once we find it-
• she knew to use the wire brush first to take off
• the loose flakes of paint etc-before sanding
• she did not finish but she will.....
• she is quite possessive of papa's shop
• and only wants me or her in it yet-
• but she will grow as she fiddles with his things
• and Oma aka Meme will watch and
• bite her tongue and pray-
• other than safety measures I do not comment ---
• I oiled our board walk that is beside the house
• it is quite a job and something papa hubby always
• did but I watched him too ---
• and it looks fine now that it is done
• = the oil is to protect it from the rain
• and snow - papa made it for me to put my flower
• boxes on etc-
• speaking of snow - we were promised some tonight-
• and where was the boy who is a friend??!
• while Miss Ashley and I did our papa things
• sitting on the front step watching us--LOL
• and this is a good lesson to teach us adults
• that children do watch what we do..even
• when we think they are not-----and so
• I am glad that the things Miss Ashley
• watched her papa grandpa do were
• good things--
• saw this wee blessing in a old book
• and I want to share it with you---
• A prayer for you is said today
• May the love of God ever with you stay;
• Where ever you are-
• What ever you do-
• May the blessinig of God rest on you.
• hugs from Meme

A WILD RIDE,,

neither Miss Ashley and I can drive but we have papa hubby's car which I gave to Ashley- we have to start it now and then and so we sat in it today with Dogman and listened to the tape that papa had in the tape deck- it was the old country music and yodeling by a lady singer that papa enjoyed- we turned it up high and then Ashley backed the car up to the end of the drive way and then parked it again- LOLwe had such fun making a memory and sharing memories-Dogman enjoyed the ride too...and I am sure the neighbors are in grief now watching and listening to us--the tape has sat in there for two winters now and played as good as new-
hugs from Meme

end of the week

• times seems to fly by when one is not feeling well
• but I did accomplish a lot of little things this week
• ran into things of papa hubby's again
• and it always a hard decision to decide
• what to do with his things-
• do I toss it?
• do I keep it?
• do I sell it?
• do I give it away?
• and I find things of mine too
• but the decision is easier
• because it does not hold old memories
• Papa always had a vision
• to use what ever he kept
• some day was a day of the week
• to papa--LOL
• and he did make some great things.....
• he just had that kind of imagination.......
• I have started my crocheting again
• found the crochet cotton I forgot I had..
• this is a nice red - and - I am just doing
• a granny square table cloth--it will be about
• 33 by 33 as that fits my table
• that I want to put it one...
• it is a little over half done and I will have enough
• to do one more- and I plan to use it(them)
• in any season as Christmas is all year
• in my heart...the next one I make I
• will attempt a pattern but my
• right side brain is not working with
• the left side yet...
• grief not only steals your joy many days
• but it also steals your rememberer--
• I discovered today that I am one day
• younger than I thought--LOL
• I thought my birthday was this coming Monday
• but it is really this coming Tuesday-
• I will write a birthday tale from last year
• on my birthday-----
• stay tuned because it is a good story
• that I have not told yet--
• Meme must go now
• and I will be back-
• big canadian hugs from Meme

A MOMENT WITH MEME

• I am here but I have been off sick
• just having some major tummy problems
• and will eventually see the specialist again
• I have had 2 appointments in the last few weeks
• and both have been cancelled by the doctor
• so now May 22 is the next appointment
• also have a burst of grief -
• mother's day was hard for me as papa hubby
• always made a wonder day for me
• I shall be back soon with a tale
• or two-
• and share some more memories that
• cannot fade-
• hugs from a windy rain snow cold night-
• which reminds me of this verse-
• ---the wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it,
• but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone
• who is born of the spirit. John 3:8 NKJV
• good night, friends
• from Meme

book club day

• today was our monthly book club at the library
• where a bunch of us get together and giggle
• and sometimes discuss the book and it does not
• matter if we have read it or not-
• we do not take ourselves or the books seriously
• and have tea and fun and chat
• this is one of the few things that papa hubby
• and I did not do together- it open to men
• and women but so far no men have stayed
• beyond the first meeting --LOL
• none of us can imagine why?!
• it was good to get out and giggle about
• life and things and eat cookies with no calories
• I did settle last night after writing my blog
• writing things out helps me to rest my mind
• Miss Ashley cut Dogman's hair with the clippers
• but he will not let her/me do his legs so he
• looks rather funny- he usually looks like
• a cross between a feather duster and a mop
• and now he looks like he is wearing leggings
• she gave him a shower too and then we
• left him alone for another day...
• we chatted about how we miss telling
• papa hubby these things of every day life
• and I find when I write my papa stories
• that I loose a little drop of pain---
• have a wonder night and I am going shopping
• with a friend tomorrow so if I do not come in
• tomorrow-- look for me at the local wal-mart
• and remember that:
• ''''Neither death, nor life, nor angels,nor rulers, nor
• things to come........will be able to separate us from the
• love of God. Romans 8:38-39

widow thoughts

• I am restless tonight and just thinking about


• the way we were and wondering how to be a widow!?


• I was raised to be a wife-


• and although we talked about one of us


• leaving first


• it was always a some day conversation
• about when ever that would happen
• it was in the future but it was not reality
• we made our wills to take care of each other
• but it was a some day thought
• and now some day came and went
• and I am here and papa hubby is not
• the hardest thing to do is to take his name off of things
• some things I can leave for now - and
• it is unreal to walk downtown with his
• death certificate in my purse
• I only carry it if I have too and I
• simply cannot read it--sigh--
• he made sure that I would be left ok
• and that nothing would be in my way
• as I follow this track on
• a new journey but alone
• my heart rejoices that he is with the Lord
• and that the Lord knew best
• but my heart just hurts
• I had a fear that I might not remember him
• every day- that some how I might forget how we were
• and then I read another widow's journey
• and realized that God will keep papa hubby's
• memories in my heart
• God will keep me safe in the love that we had
• because love is stronger than death
• hugs from Meme

simple supper and day

we had a few spring showers this evening so soon the flowers
will start to grow
some green grass is peeking through
I love spring and our spring is late this year
playing peek a boo........
I had a simple day ....and made some chilimac for supper
it is quite simple-
(1 pound) hamburger
brown the hamburger - drain extra fat- add tomato soup-
1 can water
and a wee bit of pizza or spaghetti sauce
I added half a cup and then add 1 tablespoon chili powder
this is a recipe from Meme's head so the details are
kind of sketchy- (wink)
bring to low boil-and added another cup of hot water
and add 1 cup of macaroni
cook(low) for 20 minutes-
mixture should just have tiny bubbles or
it will burn.........
(this can be made in the oven also but my
oven is not working right now)
and serve to two teen age-rs-
help your self first as there will be no left-overs
we shredded some cheese as topping and also
would have had sour cream but we were out-LOL
we had no healthy salad or veggies but we had buns :-)
this was just a fun meal for Oma who was
taking some time off to enjoy her simple day-
one pan to wash....
you can double this recipe etc- and it will thicken
as it cooks..........
hugs from Meme aka Oma

jammie day

• Meme had a jammie day which is another way of saying I did not
• want to get all dressed up with no place to go----
• every once and a while and some times more often
• I just putter about doing the chores in my jammies
• they are quite cosy and comfortable and respectable too
• I had planned on having a do nothing day until
• I made the mistake of entering the doom room
• which translated is the room where Miss Ashley resides
• I decided to check under the clothes and see if the rug
• was still there and then I did the Oma thing
• Oma-s can do these things that mothers should never do
• I did her laundry- as a gift to her
• she was sad today and went to work sad
• due to some family issues and because it is better
• for Oma- to say less sometimes I decided to give
• her the gift of clean laundry---
• I also freshened her blankets by tossing them into
• the dryer with that vanilla smell she so loves-
• the things that made her sad did work out partly
• but not enough to heal her hurts
• and we just have to continue to pray
• for her and them - she comes from a split home
• back ground and is often stuck in the middle
• of problems which belong to others who should know better-
• I do not do these things for her
• often but I felt that it was a
• cheerio that she needed at this time
• --she was still quite emotionally needy tonight
• but has settled now in her clean bed
• and oh yes, the rug is still there--LOL-
• pray for her heart to be healed as she has
• been broken for so long
• hugs from Meme

spring in our yard

yesterday and today were good weather days here and so
we began to clean up the yard and do spring chores
Miss Ashley and I did a lot of work and the boy who is
a friend lent us a hand but I must say we are much more
intent- he is a good helper for lifting and watching_LOL
we did a lot and we both sure missed papa hubby here
we trimed trees and raked leaves and cleaned - and cleaned
I am a year behind as last spring papa was our priority-
it was nice working together and discussing papa memories
the church misses him a lot too
as he did the yard work there too
but I will not be able to take over that job
Miss Ashley did plant some flower seeds but I think she is
rushing Alberta weather- but this is how she learns and there is
always a chance that we will not get a spring snow in May--LOL
she also topped some of the trees that papa planted when a
grand child was born - so we have a few
she is strong- Oma could hardly pick up the trimmers but she
did a good job- and would have passed papa's inspection -
the boy who is a friend and the future husband
made supper and burned it and burned it--LOL
smoke and smoke and more smoke
we ate it anyway as we workers were hungry
but a tough frying pan mess- sigh- he used two so
we still have two frying pans soaking -
I think one should not cook if there is a hockey game on TV
but every thing will come out in the wash and the smoke
has disapated so we do not run into one and other -LOL
good night, all--happy spring
hugs from Meme aka Oma