Meme Thoughts

it is about time

2010-02-14T19:16:00.002-07:00

I am still in the battle-
in January I had radiation for the secondary cancer
to hold it back from spreading into my collar bone-
it did help

this week I have a pet scan to see if they can find the primary
cancer and then see if they can treat it-

the chemo did so much damage that now it is too dangerous to try
again for some time

I am weak and tired from the body fighting the cancer that we
cannot find- sigh
I seldom come to the computer and it took me a while to remember
my password or even where to find it-
so much of my life has slowed down now
i send hugs and love with prayers - Meme

dear friends

2009-12-22T17:28:00.002-07:00

I have been in the hospital since November the 10 and finally came home today- I had a severe chemo crash and also a infected bowel caused by the chemo and came very close to going home to the Lord but He choose to heal me slowly- I am a miracle patient as they were not expecting me to live past the first day and called my family in- but God did not take me home yet- I am very weak and was very sick but as my platelets dropped to poing 6 which is not a good thing and also having the infection and nothing to fight it with- They had a new cancer drug they brought in to use and God used the drug as a miracle-
I will write more when I can and I will try to find a way for Miss Ashley to write here for me=
I was too sick to explain to her how to find the blog - I am just blessed to be able to tell you this in person- life is very different for me now as I need to be cared for rather than be a care giver
this cancer is fighting my body and taking a lot out of me but God will decide and His plans are best for me although I do not really like them at the moment
I will update when I can- I spent 42 days in the hospital so I am just finding my blogs again-
thanks for praying and please continue-
love Meme

I am ok ---chemo

2009-10-28T23:10:00.000-06:00

here I am full of medicine and chemo but I am ok-- very tired! Nurse Crash-it is doing a good job aka Miss Ashley=I just came in to say hello and good night and with hugs and prayers.

from Meme

chemo is coming........

2009-10-23T22:22:00.000-06:00

I have my first chemo treatment on Oct-28 Wednesday- at 9:30 a.m.
I will update more tomorrow-5 sleeps to go-- I hope I can rest the night before- I am happy to know I have a date now but also very anxious.
hugs from Meme

yesterday's cancer news

2009-10-14T21:22:00.002-06:00

today was very long and tiring - and the news is rough.
I have cell cancer in the lining of my stomach and it is not the good type
-they can treat me but there is no cure as it is the same cancer that David had except it is in my lining of stomach rather than pancreas.
I will begin treatments soon. I have to have a colonoscopy on Friday to determine it it has spread to the bowel. oh yuck--LOL
It did not show on the ct scan re bowel but he said the scan can not always pick up cell cancer there so the colonoscopy.
I am very tired and exhausted and just shell shocked but I will be better tomorrow,sigh.
I have not sent any thing to anyone else yet( I have now as I am a day late here)
but it is fine to share and I will up date as I can- as long as folks realize this is really all i know and that next week I will get the port put in and I cannot individually reply right now--it is going to be a tough battle to get me into remission but I have hope and faith in the decision we made today.

in memory of papa---blessing

2009-10-10T20:46:00.000-06:00

today 2 of his friends came with trucks and cleaned up my back yard of things that were done and also cleaned out an entire shed so that I have a whole unit to store things so that I can continue to down size and if I am not sure I can still remove from the house-
I was so blessed== also can put all the thrift store stuff until they come back and they will take it down for me-this is like having a whole new room added to my house-they took an old chair and dresser and hamper from the house for me too - which adds more space for me they did it in memory of papa and in honor of meI am so blessed--I was able to share some of papa hubbys things with them- R------has a whole load of wood for their wood burning stove as papa hubby had a lot of willow saved up for his canes he made--they tried to pay me and so I tried to pay them-- and we both agreed that this is what friendship is for--and so we both won each other over -
I am ok --- will write soon- huggles me, Meme

ct scan done :-)

2009-10-07T21:07:00.001-06:00

the scan and the day went smoothly- hoping the results will be in by Friday but not for sure.
I go to the city hospital but they still have to be read and sent to another cancer clinic for further reading--so I am being a patient waiting patient but the good news is that I have my first appointment on October 13 at the cancer clinic so I will begin my journey then-I had a good day and was able to get the kitchen back to my standards which is two clean sinks so just being able to do that makes me feel better-I just puttered and rested etc-forgive me for times between updates but I have to try to rest and take things easy and even phone calls and emailing is tiring on some days- I am learning what balance is...........I love you guys and know that you are holding us up in prayer- that is the greatest blessing of all.

huggles from Meme

Dogman with papa

2009-09-30T18:54:00.001-06:00

Dogman has been sick off and on with his Cushings and the last two days were too much for him
and his kidney's stopped filtering the water he was drinking which meant his blood was getting no water and I
took him to the vet but there was nothing she could do but gently send him to papa hubby- He was so weak
and just went to sleep with a calming drug - she knew he was dying so we sat in a special room togetherand he slipped away-He seemed content to be with me - He would have been 13 tomorrow- he is being cremated privately and will come back to us in a pretty cedar box- with his name on and '' thanks for the memories.'' I am ok as ok is for me right now
and my little bird was bit by a bee and died 15 minutes afterwards so today is not a good day here=
huggles me who has a sadder heart tonight-

the letter O

2009-09-28T17:53:00.000-06:00

I rather got behind on letters so will now just think about O
I will just do letters when I can....of course, there are Oreo cookies which most folks love but I haveto admit I do not- and there are oats which take part in our daily lives in
cerels and breads- cheerios with honey :-)
but for me right now is the word OH
=it often prefixs( is that the correct thought) my words
like oh no---which was one of my first thoughts about this cancer
and of course- my prayer- Oh God, help me- this was my cry
this week end and I know that He is with me and although I cannot see what He is doing right now, I can feel His presence-so often, David of the psalms cried out to God and God heard and we
know when we cry that we are heard.My other prayer is that God's will be done
even though there will be days and times that I/wedo not want His will...........I am sure there are other O words but as I am winging it tonight.
I will leave you with this thought-Oh God, thank you for leading me this far.........

Meme has bad news

2009-09-25T17:33:00.001-06:00

I had to go to the doctor for him to check the biopsy site for infection or problems- that part is ok but the first of the results are in and I do have cancer- they do not know where it is originating from at this time and they do not know if it is good or bad- I have to go to the cancer clinic in the city and also have ct scans done asap- there is no doubt about the lump containing cancer but the problem is why?? once they know the origin it will be easier to make plans of what the chemo will be and if there will or will not be surgerythat is all I know today-- I am stunned and do not really know what to say except pray for me- I will weep today- then have a good week end and begin the battle on MondayI will tell you whatever I know when I know itI cannot say anymore right now as this note hurts me to have to tell you my sad newsI love you- friends
from Meme

home from biopsy

2009-09-21T21:31:00.000-06:00

i am home- the test was quite pain free but oh my, now it is so painful re my left side - face- etc- took some pain meds and must do nothing for a few days- no reports for 10 days as they have to do extensive testing- and we will go from there-i am very tired so I will go to bed again- I will blind copy to groups== they did 7 different needle tests and I swear each needle got bigger but he did it with the ultra sound so he knew where to go----------thank you for praying
loving thoughts from me and gentle right arm huggles

How is Meme?

2009-09-15T23:18:00.002-06:00

I am feeling better this week and I have been catching up on odds and ends
but slowly so I do not tire -------------
the weather had been wonderful and I get outside except
in the hot hours as heat is hard on me--
so mornings and evening are nice for me to sit out or
do a few yard things...........
taking walks every day
and the biopsy is till on Sept- 21
so I will have things in order so Ashley can mess it up--LOL
she is like a whirl- wind looking for a place to land,
she always has been-
you always know she is here when she is here-(wink).
Thank you all for praying
it keeps me going at this time
huggles from Meme

the nappers

2009-09-08T21:24:00.003-06:00

had to take Miss Ashley to the doctor for another foot sprain
she had sprained the main muscle in her foot so time
will be the healer-------she tends to fall of her foot on one side
we waited for 10 days to see if it would go away on its own
and now we know that it will so that was good news and she
will just have to limp through it for a few weeks---
then we went out for supper together with no boy who
is a friend and no Dogman begging eyes---and then
we walked home and both had a nap..........
the doctor checked the lump and it has grown larger
which means it shows now and is annoying the neck muscles
but he could still give me no answer as we have to wait
for the biopsy on Sept. 21
I am going back to the shepherd and letting Him lead
sometimes I forget who is in charge.......and I want answers NOW
but God knows and yes, it is another journey but
I am not alone--
I am hoping to get over the being tired so that I can get on with some tales-
good night and God bless every one and thank you for praying
your prayers hold me up
huggles from Meme

I am ok,,,,,,,

2009-09-06T20:08:00.002-06:00

I am ok but tired and weary
and also have found a health issue
about 4 weeks ago I noticed a lump on my lower neck
and in a few days it got bigger so
off to the doctor
so far I have had x rays
and then blood tests
and then ultra sound
and now on the 21 of Sept. I will have a biopsy
I feel ok about this but being so tired
this has added to my load
I am keeping the faith and
just trying to take things one day at a time
the tummy is still an issue and that appointment
is not until October 8
I have been eating better as I want to be strong
for the biopsy ( it is a lymph node)
so I just have to try to overcome the stomach pain
but as we all know
when one has chronic pain
it does take a lot of energy to keep
going and going=
I will be back soon
I just to weary to think out tales
loads of love
and huggles
from Meme

My week ----------

2009-08-22T21:31:00.002-06:00

I must say that this week did zip by quickly
even though I was alone most of the time
Miss Ashley went to visit other grandma and
was blessed by going to see the ''Lion King.
she enjoyed it and just her and grandma went.
she did come yesterday for a shower and a briefing
LOL and now has gone to take care of her sisters
for the week end
so Dogman and I have had to keep ourselves busy
and off the street.
the weather has been nice and we had a few storms
pass by but left no damage behind.
I am learning the art of loneliness and
how one must keep on getting up and
going forward. I must say that getting up
is easy but staying up takes discipline.
Dogman does not drag enough dirt into the house
or dirty many dishes so I have to find other ways
to improve our day and keep our minds stayed
on following the Shepherd.
Now it is Saturday night and we are both watching
the cooking channel when ever the curse (f) is not on-
I just cannot see how using one word over and over
adds to our entertainment. Nor does it have any teaching value.
I admit too that most of those recipes
they so cheerful show us are not recipes I will use
nor will my kitchen ever look so glamorous nor
will some one set out all the ingredients pre-measured
in those pretty little dishes so I can bake the perfect
pie or cake. Calorie free too.
But they are fun to watch and dream about.
Of course, being me I do find many other things
to keep me busy.
I am off now to check the doors and send Dogman
to his pee patch.
Have a wonder week end and hug some one
and spread some smiles.
The Lord is my Shepherd!
huggles from Meme

a friendship kit

2009-08-18T23:19:00.003-06:00

found this little idea on the net a while ago and was
thinking of making mine up to share
so I will share the directions with you
FRIENDSHIP KIT
rubber-bands to hold friends close
tissues to dry a tear
recipes to make and share
stationary to stay in touch
bible verses to express God's love
prayers to keep your friend in mind
a pencil to journal the heart in
a note book with lines
put all in a cloth bag to avoid carbon footprints

have fun and Meme will see you soon-

no plans

2009-08-15T22:44:00.002-06:00

alas I did not want to get up this morning as I was thinking I had nothing to do-
now that is a silly thought for an old woman but as a habit
I usually plan out things in my head the night before
of a few things I must do or could do
but forgot to think things out which means I convinced myself
of a lazy day------ha!
but I did get up and soon saw there were things to do
the sun was shining after a 2 days of rain so I knew
I could weed------that is the best time as weeds come up
root and all-- and of course, there are always a few house
chores jumping out of the sink or the laundry hamper
I also walked down to the library and stopped off at a store
I only spent a quarter-- LOL
but had a chat with one lady friend
then the kids came and the kids went
and I did have a nap- quite unintentional as I was
watching the news but cuddled in a blanket
as I was cool as even though the sun shone
it was a cool day outside and in........
I am doing ok here- soon fall will be here and
all the church activities will return
there is not much to go to in this town
that does not include alcohol -
I decided when papa hubby died that I
would not compromise my beliefs because
I am lonely-
summer times does seem the time to be lonely
(my widow friends agree as they too miss the church action)
----if you are a christian widow so many folks
are coming and going and most regular programs
take a leave of absence
I do walk every day which is good for me
but shopping is again hard as we do not have
many stores.......the windows do not change too often-
but I will continue this journey
depending on the Lord as the
Lord is my shepherd.

Not in Control

2009-08-13T23:00:00.002-06:00

I have always been a A to Z type of lady who likes things to go
step by step in order so when ( December 19, 2007) the phone rang
and papa hubby said-- ''honey, I have terminal cancer and there
is nothing the doctor can do but keep me comfortable'';
my world
ended as I knew it and I stepped into the unknown.
It was the worst of the worst and the shock just overwhelmed me/
First of all, we did not expect the results the same day that
the tests were done-or I would have been with David but
I had a dental appointment we had made some time ago
and due to the problem being my dentures; I had to leave
the bottom teeth behind and come home semi-toothless. but
most of all we never expected the words terminal and nothing
to be added to the words---''you have cancer.
I do not drive so I was expecting my grand daughter to come
later to take me to the hospital.
I remember that waiting.......we had not set a certain time
so all I had to do was be ready and wait.
Those few hours were the most agonizing hours I spent
during David's cancer journey-and in our marriage.
I remember being able to do [nothing] and
laying on the kitchen floor sobbing with Dogman
- I could not think or breath or call for help-
I was totally helpless and alone-
I remember begging God to help us and show me what to do
I remember the kids were later than I expected
and I did not know who to tell so I told no one.
I remember wondering how I would be able to tell anyone?
What words do you say- ? How do you explain terminal to
your children and your grand children.? what does ''nothing
really mean? what does comfortable mean ?
What do you say to friends - family- ? How do you
tell them a story that you cannot believe in?
I knew David was not alone as our pastor called
and said he would stay with him- but my heart was
broken and alone.
I remember that I had not melted down
like a confused child since I had left home
over 40 years ago. And I remember that I could only lay
there and sob and beg- I remember the patterns of
saw dust on the rug which was part of papa as he was
a wood worker and sawdust followed him-every where
I looked I saw proof of papa hubby existence -
The kids did come and we left and I said nothing
Ashley was napping in the backseat when the boy
who is a friend asked about papa and I do not
remember his questions but I know the words I said
were --yes-- and ---no.
I remember Ashley crying out about what I meant
and I remember that I had only 3 miles to tell her
and I knew I could not lie--I could not soften the blow
I had to tell her that her papa was too sick to get better
I remember we were crying and some how we got to that
city hospital and found money for parking and
then we went off to find our papa- we dream walked
and set smiles on our broken hearts---
I still remember his smile when we walked in and I
remember him saying ''lets all cry together and then we
will be ok'. and we
some how managed to crawl into his bed
and hold each other and cry - and I knew that from
that minute onward that no matter what happened we
would survive because love held us together.
I still did not understand that David's death meant survival
for him but that is another story.
And I knew that we could not control what was happening=
because there were no more rules to follow and the steps
were not ours to make- the alphabet was scrambled.
and that God was in control and that we would
follow Him through the valley and up the mountain.
We would fall and we would stumble but we kept following
to the end of the journey for David and the beginning of
a journey for me.
some would wonder why the doctor would be so brutally honest
but David was the kind of guy who wanted to know all--
even what he did not want to hear-,
And so our journey began with no map or plans-
and nothing to pack-------
but we were blessed because
The Lord was our shepherd!

I need to catch up...

2009-08-12T01:10:00.002-06:00

here I am reading and summering and forgot that I should be writing too
we have had nice weather but did have major storm warnings tonight
but where ever the storm was - it did not pass by here.
The kids are great ones for the weather channel
and they find it hard to believe that Meme
does it the old fashioned way--
I look out the window-LOL
I have to admit too that I have been sluffing off the chores
for another day.
I have not gone to any lakes this year or sunny beaches
I remember we would take the kids and then the g'kids
to different lakes close by and let them run about
in the sand and in some cases dip toes into the water.
Where did we get the energy ?
Miss Sidney was here for an over night
and just watching her move about
made me tired.
She has gone camping now for two nights
This is her first big ''away from home"" trip
She comes here often but coming here is just like
being at home.
She has crayons and paper and books and toys
to scatter around.
so now Meme has shared a tale: I will go to bed
huggles

Friday Frogs

2009-08-07T20:53:00.002-06:00

did that title get you over here?
no, Meme has not gone to the frogs
she just a double sick days here
so has been sleeping off and on
and maintaining some of the chores
have to keep the floor for Dogman
and some dishes too------
It was pleasant to have a few moments
of simply being instead of doing
I suffer from busyness and I
and learning that idle hands are ok
now and then-
I must have been tired
as my naps increased but
I feel better now
my house did not suffer from me
leaving it alone for a day or two
and Dogman was quite happy
to nap with me====
Ashley just came and went and
came back again
and she did not lack anything
except maybe my company--LOL
I am working on the busyness as
I am to old to go like the pink bunny
have a wonder filled week end
hugs from Meme

cool and wet day

2009-08-04T21:19:00.002-06:00

summer feels like it is over for us already
we were cool enough to put the furnace on
long enough to cheer up the house
it does keep the thunder storms at bay
and so the rain is simple.....
I had a rather easy day here
I could have put more into it but
I didn't have any ''must do today '' projects
I did clean out my closet - and found
a few things that can leave the building
with my tummy being so bad I am
finding a lot of clothes I can not longer wear
they are just too painful and so I don't bother
I hope I never become a half naked lady
even elastic pants hurt me- and forget the metal button jeans
I am debating on skirts but need to be warm
so if anyone has ideas that would help
me be fully clothed and warm and still be a lady
please let me know--------
I wish we could find some cotton dresses here
Meme is going to have to find a new wardrobe
that is suitable for a tom-girl-
take care and keep hugging your loved ones
I miss papa hubby's hugs
huggles from Meme

Meme's hope

2009-08-03T23:41:00.002-06:00

a while ago I started a blog called Joy and Hope Road
where I planned to post of my pictures and tell the story
as I remember( it) that goes with the photo---------
and of course, I promptly forgot
but now that Miss Ashley helped me down load
most of my photos and I am learning to take more-
I can get on with it------
and also I am writing another blog called
Lessons from a clutter Princess
this is a fun blog written-- with some laughter and tears
and also to be read with
with a grain of salt and a dash of pepper
so why??
Because I am worn down and sick from grief
so I need something to do to turn me around
and I like writing even though I can never
remember the commas and periods.........
and I will write the princess blog in rough
and then of course, essentially clean it up
(re all those punctuations that I miss)
and publish it for my daughters and grand daughters=
I have to start leaving my grief behind as
I can not keep focus on it now--I am too tired'''
and my grief is becoming unhealthy
I would grieve hard and forever if
it would bring back papa to me-
My love for him is eternal but
my grief is not...........I have nothing left to give to grief-
I will wonder from blog to blog and if you
check my dashboard- it will take you right there.
I hope that you will take a look and see
and that some of my words will encourage you.

hugs from Meme

looking for my friends

2009-08-02T22:25:00.002-06:00

I am going to take a peek and see what you are all up too
I know that it is really too nice to be blogging
right now- we have storms and it is late
but I am waiting for Miss Sidney to go to bed
she has one half hour to go........
I am hoping we keep our power on as she is not
a pioneer type of kid- LOL
I have a surprise to share with you tomorrow
and also have some chores to do
so it may be late when I get here again-
now I am off to read your doings
summer hugs from Meme

quiet blog world

2009-08-02T13:16:00.002-06:00

it must be summer fun time as the blog world is quiet
and I am quiet too-
I am on a cleaning spree??
that is on the days that it is not too hot here
I did find another fan yesterday
half price too which really helps
we did have a horrid storm here yesterday
no damage at my house but alas
further north of our town
one person was killed when a stage collapsed
it does make on think about how our life is
a short span and makes me think how I
want to live the rest of my days
I did join this ladies little blog to have
some fun while organizing my house

http://parentingconfessions.blogspot.com/

It is a good thing for Meme to do and maybe some of you will enjoy

following also-

have a great day= and hug some one today-

WHERE IS MEME?

2009-07-26T23:27:00.002-06:00

Here I am-------

I took last week off from most things

including the blogs

last week was a nice but bitter sweet time

July 21 was papa David's graduation date for eternal life

July 23 was his earth birthday- he would have been 70

July 25 was his memorial date for his funeral

so it was a week of memories

I did put a ''in loving memory- piece in our local paper

I did it for me to help in healing the tendar scars

I know he is fine and worshipping his Lord

we have had a heat wave and

living in Alberta means we do not have air conditioners

as we only need one about 1 week a year...

so I have been getting up early to do chores

and then resting and reading in my room

I do not tolerate sun shine and high temps well

I am not used to it so it saps me dry

but I know winter is coming- again so I

appreciate the hot days now

blessings to you all and I will be back in gear asap

huggles from Meme

Miss Ashley news

2009-07-19T20:41:00.002-06:00

Miss Ashley now has her learner's permit and can learn to drive- she is so excited as this was a hard step for her- she had dreamed of her papa teaching her to drive and when he got sick and then passed away- she would not consider the test or any thing to do with driving- I have been encouraging her but also supporting her feelings- I understood how she felt--------and the other day she went and took the test..........and now has a learner's permit- she has a few lessons from an instructor also and he is very encouraging man as he knows why she had to wait;;;she wants me to tell you the good news she has!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and I finally realized that it means a lot to her that my friends know our news - she keeps asking what my friends said--LOL

I am so proud of her------- The picture of papa and her at her graduation- papa's last outing ...........

huggles me, Meme

hugs

2009-07-17T23:14:00.004-06:00

getting behind in the blog world

we have had some days of sunshine

and a wee bit hot for us-

so just enjoying the that summer time feeling

I will just share some pictures for now

and catch up another night

i am ok but that is all I can be for now

I just need to get through next week

as it has many remembering days

ashley likes taking pictures of the leaves close up- see the heart ?
hugs from Meme

PAPA HUBBY'

2009-07-13T22:27:00.002-06:00

Ashley helped me down load more pictures today so now I know what I am doing---
these are old pictures taking before papa went home with the Lord
there are pictures from his camera and also from mine- I just left them where they were
when he died but now it is time for me to take some new ones for me and you.
we each our camera as he often had a camera with him and of course- we swapped too-
some I have just deleted as they are not good- like the one of my 3 fingers only-LOL
so I will share pictures more often-
right now I am supposed to be making supper for Dogman and me
but I wanted to send this one picture off before I do that=
I will come back tomorrow and share some and then share as time goes by
this is papa David before cancer and how I need to remember him- I was blessed to find this picture today as sometimes to see him just the way he was-
hugs from Meme

picture my thoughts

2009-07-12T23:05:00.002-06:00

busy bee

2009-07-09T21:29:00.002-06:00

Meme is just flying by .......tonight. It is cool here but no storms.
No time for tales but I had a good day but it just flew by
I got to the grocery store and the bank too
now tomorrow is a paper pile day aka pay those bills
I cannot give kitty from yesterday away as he is a visitor
I have not seen him lately so maybe he moved
but now we have a new kitty visitor who is black and white-
the bird has a lot of visitors these last few years and so far
has not had any problems with his visitors aka kitties
I will come back tomorrow with a thought or two
huggles from Meme

Meme is up late.......

2009-07-09T00:06:00.003-06:00

the tow man came and took the trailer out of the yard- and so now I have a new space to look at-----he was so nice and refused to take any money as he said that papa hubby did a lot of little things for him.. That was such a blessing for me.

we had sunshine this morning and then rain and storms and we were on tornado watch again but all is well now.

did a few too many chores around the house and now my shoulder is cross and so am I- LOL

I will close for now and talk to you all tomorrow.

Remember Jesus is every day.

huggles me, Meme

the picture is saying that we can still be friends even if we are different ............

sunshine and clouds....

2009-07-07T21:48:00.002-06:00

We got our rain and brother farmer says that he got enough - we have no puddles hanging around as we were so dry--------we did not get some of the thunder and lightening that other areas did- we have had storms pass over today but no more rain.Papa hubby's friend stopped by to help me clean out the old trailer which will be going to the dump- we were using as a storage shed but now it have lived it's day and needs to go out to pasture. We did have fun trying to guess what some of papa's plans were in regards to some of the items.We do make plans and we do have hope and we do not think about the day when the Lord calls us home. We need to be ready for that day- because it is quicker than a wink- and there are no do-overs.When we were told that papa hubby had terminal cancer in stage 4 plus we both remembered God's promise in John 3:16. We were prepared and so all papa hubby had to do was hang for the ride. And it was quite a ride for both us. It was the best times and worst of times.I remember so well my David's last morning and laying beside him thinking how will I know when he goes with the Lord and I remember the sweet presence of the Lord in the room and how there were no words left for us to say.I kissed him good bye as I was going home to change clothes(I would walk the 4 blocks home - change and return ) and he moved his cheeks as he had no energy to speak. I always laid my head on his chest and would say pitter patter pooh- I love you. I got ready to leave (which was only a minute in our time)and went back to kiss him good bye again and when I laid my head on his shoulder he had already slipped away - He was calm and peaceful and silent and I am so glad the Lord gave us that gift together alone. We did not have to say good-bye.I do miss him but I would not ask the Lord to bring him back to this earthy world where sin has entered in and where stuff turns to dust and rust. Missing him is worth it because I have the joy of knowing where he is and who he is with.

huggles me, Meme who according to her spell check as made no mistakes--LOL but the punctuation is ---the picture is of the tornado that touched down about 24 miles north of Meme

Rain........

2009-07-07T00:03:00.001-06:00

It is raining here today which is what we need--and so our rain is an answer to prayer.
God's blessing helps the earth grow our food and keeps us continually blessed. So often, we want to have only the sun-shine but if there are no storms we would not see our rainbows.
I feel like I am in midst of another storm right now as time is getting closer to the one year that my dear hubby has been gone- It seems like only yesterday that I held him in my arms and sang the song telling us that Jesus loved him. He loved Jesus too and had a personal faith that comforted him as he walked in the valley of death. Death came but could not steal him as his death was his victory in Jesus.
I know that the sun will shine in my heart again and that the rain will help me grow- and I will see the rainbow.
.please pray that as I seek His comfort that I will remember that I do not walk alone and there is sunshine after the rain.
huggles me, Meme

CANADA DAY

2009-07-01T22:15:00.003-06:00

this is Dogman on a bad hair day--LOL--on his chair with his blanket.

I had a nice quiet day and got some extra chores done

took some book give aways out to papa's work shop

and found this nice new little plastic cupboard

it has 3 drawers and about 30 inches high

so I put it together- not too hard but still had to learn

the process- and now it has all those little plastic

containers that I use for left-overs or lunches

thanks = papa hubby.

I like the way God leads me to little bits of joy-

this is so handy and has wheels so Meme can

have fun too-

then I walked down to our local celebrations

that was on from 2 to 7

it was geared to kids and it was fun to watch

them doing the wee races etc.

I only saw one lady that I knew---

I guess the old folks stayed home- LOL

it was a nice outing - I did not stay until

7 p.m. as the music was not quite Meme style.

I am glad that I can come here

and talk to you on my good days and

my bad days.......

today was a good day :-)

and I will share a picture of Dogman as

I think I missed posting him here.
huggles me- Meme

thinking my way out

2009-06-30T23:14:00.002-06:00

it has been a rough month for me-
missing the papa man so much
part of this is that Miss Ashley is gone so much now
and that is how it should be.......
I do not want her to have to baby sit Meme
I want her to have a fun time in this part of her life
there is still some growing to do
and you can be grown up for a long time
once all is said and done-
my widow friend of three years came
for tea day and she assured me that
I am being normal considering the
circumstances but boy normal
sure can hurt......
the days seem so long and then there are the nights
the hardest part of day is shutting off the lights
around the house-
I am keeping my faith and following
my Shepherd---
I need to finish a few small business things
and then it will be just me.
I know that God is in control and I
try very hard not to question Him about
His plans---
I am glad June is over....last June was the heavy
month on the cancer journey ----it was
all the endings of what dear papa hubby
was able to do......it was the worst of times
Tomorrow is new day and a new month
I will carry on.......
hugs from Meme

speechless week

2009-06-27T23:14:00.002-06:00

I am having a speechless week --- there is not too much news and we have had a lot of sunshine
so most of the days are spent outside.
today I did walk down to a tea party for some friends who have been married
65 years -- and they are both still able to drive and get around quite well.
They have known me since my birth and really are the only folks left
who have known me that a long.
It was a lovely time for all and they enjoyed the day.
have a wonder filled week and Meme will be back soon

thoughts on grief

2009-06-23T22:02:00.002-06:00

I belong to a christian grief group where a lady was feeling quite depressed- I did not send it directly to her as I realized that she required outside help which she received- this can apply to many types of grief of loss besides death.
this does talk about the death of my spouse but we have gone through other hard losses in our past. I remember when we discovered that all five of our kids( for me 3 are step but I only say that due to their age as I would feel very old having a 50 year old son-LOL) were doing drugs by choice- the loss of our innocence was severe and also no longer were we talking to them but to a drug almost defeated us.
However this note is not about them right and but I will share that burden at another time.
I will now share what I wrote on Father's day this year.
_______________________
I feel I have to go back to who my husband was and really ask my self the question---Is this what he would want me to keep in my mind--guilt and suicidal thoughts- etc. We have to be very careful what we allow into our grief. When these negative grief thoughts come I know that they are not in the honor of whom I had in my life for 42 years- there is so much to grief but grief should not destroy who I am- change me, yes, grief has done that but I am still me in the dark.

Because we are human we can not always recognize that some times what is normal is not always right for us to keep.I have wondered into these horrid thoughts and feelings and I know that they are not of the Lord. It is not wrong to sorrow and grieve but we need to know that the Lord has given us a sound mind.

We grieve because we loved so much but we have others to love too and we need to love and live and laugh for them. We will fall again and again but the Lord will keep picking us up. And sometimes we have to let Him hold us.

The Lord has ordained our days as well as our beloved. We are looking at the back of the weaving right now so we cannot see the picture nor can we understand. And someday when our Lord comes to take us home - then we will see the picture and we will not need to ask why.

There is no tears in heaven- only rejoicing with our Lord and Master and seeing our loved ones again. I know papa hubby would be disappointed if I allowed my self to continue thinking thoughts of guilt and suicide etc. I want to remember him with joy and sorrow and love and all the things he was too me. He never made me feel guilty in life and so his death does not make me feel guilty.

I am living and I want to honor him by being me. I laugh- I cry- I talk- I am quiet- I feel peace- I feel lost- I feel healing- I feel pain------------

Today he has been gone for 11 months and I miss him so much and especially today. However, as much as I miss him I have joy because I know where he is and I could not and would not ask for him to come back to this world.

There are no time limits for our grief. I do think that as my life goes on that my heart is healing but not healed. I am not sure that it will ever heal whole again. I am praying for all of my friends here and I want you to know that it is ok to feel joy and to laugh and to live-there can be joy in your sorrow.
I know that is what the spouses would tell us if they could and remember that God's word is there to tell us to carry how to carry on and even as we weep we have hope.
Hugs and Blessings,

Dogman's sin

2009-06-22T23:13:00.001-06:00

I went out to his pee patch to scoop his poop- I was a few days behind which is ok as he has little poops--and goes to the same area which is private from walkers. And I discoverd that he had eaten a blue and white J clothe and pooped pieces out in his poop- there were big pieces and little pieces too and sigh-

I was so scared mad at him and me- I had forgot that he stole these in the old days so we quit using them. I had used a few half clothes for cleaning but only with vinegar and a little soap plus water in a spray bottle- because they are light they blow of the counter and he is such a scamp that he grabs and hides- We have disposed off any remaining clothes as I cannot let this happen again, and as Dogman has a short memory he will not remember the Meme tears.

I am praying that all of the clothe is pooped out now- it was some time last week when I used them and as I generally toss them away I did not notice anything missing- he does this with kleenex to so no one is allowed to blow a nose with out immediatley disposing of them in a deep garbage-I gave him the Meme talk and he wagged his tail laughing at me-He really did!!! -
sigh-hugs from Meme and Dogman wags

speechless thoughts

2009-06-20T23:14:00.002-06:00

papa hubby's daughter called tonight- (my step- daughter)
she has not called me since papa's funeral day
I knew why in my heart
and I cannot call her as she has no phone
she is staying at her daughter's right now
so finally found courage to call
she had gone back to the cocaine and
was too ashamed to call...
sigh
my heart knew that --
she is 48 and lives with abusive man
but he supplies ---------
sigh
it was hard to talk to her for most of the 48 minutes
that we talked as right now she is
off the drug but not really in her mind-----
I cannot save her
I can only pray
I have to sound cold as I cannot
let her into my life
nor enable her behaviors =
I think that hurts more .........
to know that some one who loves you,
and some one you love----
you have to let completely go.......
I do not know when I will
hear from her again
so I have to give her to the Lord.
Pray for Barbie
hugs from Meme

A SHORT MEME NOTE

2009-06-17T22:17:00.001-06:00

I am not lost but just trying to do what I can- here is a short Meme note and I will be back soon.****************-

I did get rid of the garbage that I got out for our sanitation man and now I have another bag for next week- if only papa hubby would have collected stamps--LOL but he was a wood crafter and a rock hound and every thing he had weighs a lot-plus I have a hairline fracture in my back and so I have to rethink everything that I do.

yesterday was the eldest daughters birthday and I gave her a gift from me plus I gave her a beautiful hand made mug that she gave her dad when she was around 4 years old. A sweet sorrow gift but I know it means a lot to her and also the fact that her dad used it for over 35 years. my friend make it and papa used it to store his bills etc for the month for all those years.

and so yes. I continue on ...........and I will skip the toss list.

huggles from Meme- today a year ago is the day that my husband left our home for good to go into pallitive care for the last time
- I am glad I have been able to let go of his things now- it is a bittersweet day but it is also a blessing for me as it releases my attachment to his things. I miss him.

Silent Sounds

2009-06-14T23:32:00.003-06:00

most days now my house is silent-
and as I listen.....
I can hear the silence.
I no longer hear the sounds of two
hearts beating together.
I remember the last days with papa hubby
and how I would lean against his chest
to hear the pitter patter of his heart.
it was the sound of hope.....
it was the last sound I heard papa speak
and then last time I listened
all I heard was the sound of silence.
He had left this world as quiet as
the angels who came to take him home.
I hear that silent sound now..........
and I miss his sounds......
and yet, I feel the sounds in my heart
and I know that on the day that
the sound of silence came to me
that the bells in heaven rang.
huggles me, Meme

blogging joy...

2009-06-11T23:30:00.003-06:00

A few years ago I read a book by Barbara Johnson--one of many books she wrote but I do not remember which book she shared an idea of having a joy box- a place full of quotes and thoughts and jokes and stories that brought her joy. I made a joy book where I either wrote
down odds and ends or took news stories and glued them on a page. The idea is/was to have these things in place to read and reread
and plant your joy on those times when life feels joyless. I recall that eventually Barbara Johnson
had a whole room of joy makers.

I decided to make a blog here and share some old and some new joy stories. quotes and tales along with a scripture treasure- I will blog 5 or 6 times a week. The blog is a place to come for rest and to find some joy and hope seeds.
Each day is not long - just a moment or two to give you some joy.

the link is:
http://ablogofjoyandhope.blogspot.com/

and there is a picture of Meme on the side bar- I think Miss Ashley took it about 2 years ago. I know it was before the cancer journey.

Please come in and visit and follow me.

When the time is right...

2009-06-10T19:42:00.002-06:00

my bedroom is looking pretty cozy and meme like
there are many things in here that papa hubby gave me
and also things that we shared together...
papa was a tool man so he seldom had a lot of
his things in here- our closets are too small to
fit both on us in---so he used the spare room closet
and I used my/our room for my clothes-
the sweaters we shared were in his closet
so the closet did not require any changes-
I found one of his tools called a plainer(sp)
which is hand held and small so I am using it for
a book end. I like it as he used it often while
making his canes......so lots of DNA
I can still only do so much at a time and
only deal with certain things yet.
But I am moving forward step by step
because I know that is what papa hubby
asked me to do. He was very strong spoken that
the things he left behind are of this world
and that I am to take care of myself.
Because of my health I know that this house
is too much for me to deal with and that
I will have to move in a couple of years.
I know that I need to start the steps......
in order to be able to complete this
before I have to leave here.
It is sad to know that I will be letting
our home go but it is also exciting to know
that I can make a new home for Meme.
It takes time to remove the detachments of papa
hubby's things because it is hard to remind me
that these are now my things and if I keep them all
I am the one responsible.
The wonderful thing is that papa is not missing
his things- or noticing his things going- or wants his things to
be kept for him. I know that he has his treasures in heaven
from Jesus- no pain- no suffering- no tears- no sadness
and he is not alone- He is with his Lord and Savior who
taught us all to not store our treasures on earth
for they will rust and turn to dust.
God's treasures are eternal.
God will give me and you strength to do
what needs to be done when the time is right.
God is our time keeper.
Wait for the Lord..........Psalm 27:14

Monday June 8

2009-06-08T23:26:00.002-06:00

I have been a grandma 21 years - today
It seems like yesterday that I was a new mother
and now I have passed the grandma test.
-----------
I had a quiet day and put the kitchen back in order
it is amazing how many things come out at night....
so it was like a 52 pick up game
but now everything is back in place.
I made some porcupine chili-
I need to stay away from beans right now
re the tummy
but this recipe is just as good as the ordinary chili
-----------
1 pound hamburger-
1/2 uncooked rice
1 can tomato soup
1 can water
1 can diced tomatoes *not drained
1/4 cup tomato sauce
extra water if needed
brown hamburger in pan and drain fat off, add the rest of the
ingredients- and bring to simmer- now you can choose to either put
in oven at 300F or continue to simmer on stove for about one hour.
keep lid on which ever cooking method you choose.
when I do this on stove top I find I need to add an extra can of water- I
like the oven but today it was the stove- you can also do this in slow cooker but
change water to 3/4 can -I don't remember how long the slow cooker takes.
you can also double the recipe-
makes a great supper with buns and salad
and leftovers make good sloppy joes for the next day.
---------
I did do more than just make supper but I cannot see it--LOL
chores have away of coming undone and also repeating themselves.
hugs from Meme

that dear granddaughter

2009-06-07T19:21:00.002-06:00

yesterday the grand daughter was off to see family on her birth
dad's side--sometimes I get confused so I do wonder how she keeps
every one in her mind.
she came home before mid night which means Oma was still
up and had not turned into a pumpkin--LOL.
now for some reason she kept tempting me away from
my room - but I kept coming back-
and she kept tempting me with things she needed or needed done
and as it was getting closer to midnight-
Oma finally fell for the
maid for a minute or two........
.Oma knows when to give up....in...over...
so off I went to do maid duty and
suddenly I hear strange noises in my room and as
noises are generally not found in my room and
as I have completed the maid for a minute job.....
(which took more minutes than I planned )
I return to discover my grand daughter standing
on a stool in a rather strange position
and in some danger according to Oma-- but I
look up to see that she had put some words
on my wall - all in fancy letters- first
done on a special machine and then put on
where ever one wants them to go and
well no, Oma did not cry......
I saved the tears for later......because this is what the words
say.....
JESUS LOVES YOU
GOD BLESS YOU
SEE YOU IN THE MORNING
LOVE PAPA
these were the words that papa hubby always
closed the day with ......either tucking g'kids into bed
or going to his bed at night,
even the cancer could not take all the words
from him as he would struggle for breath
to finish.......
She has them displayed so that when I lay
down at night or wake up in the morning
I will see the words from his heart.
God bless my Miss Ashley

clearing out the bedroom...

2009-06-05T22:29:00.002-06:00

I got a lot of things done today because we have rain that is also snow at times so it was not fit day for man or beast to go outside. I did clear out at least 50 things since I started to sort out the bedroom..I just put down check marks as I do not want to get bogged down with lists. I know myself too well- some is gone, some things went to where they really belonged, and some is going to be given away as soon as I get a good day for travel. The main thing is that it has all left my bedroom.
I have some of my things, some of our things and a few things of papa hubby's for decor.I am a not matchie-pooh lady so if it is something that brings me joy I have it in here.I fixed up the DVD player so I can relax and watch my/our favorite DVDs- (( I set it up all by myself and it works). I still think in terms of ''ours'' often.
It is still half bed-room and half-office. Office really means where I have my laptop and is where I write notes to my friends. I do the bills out in the dining room. I call it office only to feel more official. (smile)
My bedroom is now peaceful and filled with memories of me and we. There are special moments when I think- here I am safe, and I feel joy again. And even though- life is not fair and often hard I have made a place where I can have moments of peace. Moments where I can just 'be me''.
Because of the grief there has not been a lot of room for emotional baggage to stay. Cancer has a way of changing one's ambitions and priorities. For me, the only real thing that matters now is to love and to notice and value the small moments of joy in my life. Things like the sunbeams on my kitchen floor, a walk to no where, my dog's tail wagging, smiling at strangers before they smile at me.........
I have learned with a deep awareness to find the things that really matter now. I have the need to learn and to grow, and to be all of who I am/ was meant to be. And as I share my blanket of memories with friends and ''you'', my prayer is that you will be blessed.

hugs from Meme

Meme's content day

2009-06-03T22:35:00.003-06:00

I had a content day here both in body and mind-
I think I was just happy to be at the end of all the tests
and appointments and with results that I can live with..
I have been sick for over 2 years now and so
glad that the Lord gave me manna strength to take
care of dear papa
I did some amazing things with and for him
things that I could have never done on my own...
God is good.
I am not stressed with the medical results.
I got groceries today and it was book club -
last one until September
I did not finish the last book as it had
too many things in it that I do not believe-
and things against God's word.
one of our questions today was ??
what do we think heaven is like....
and my answer was that I know that it will
be a wonderful place because Jesus will be there.
I did not answer a lot of the questions
but when someone said that none of us know
about heaven so it is really up to our imagination
I did say that I know what God's
promises are re heaven and the place He is preparing
for me/us-- I was very careful to word the statement
as a witness as all the ladies do not think
that whole Bible is true- sigh-
it was a tough meeting as sometimes
I felt very disregarded for my belief and faith
but honored that I was free to speak..
but I know that what God says-God does.
we did have giggles too and I am praying
for those ladies to find the true Jesus.
I am sad that the world is rejecting
God and his promises--
Anne Frank said these words..
I DON'T THINK OF ALL THE MISERY, BUT OF ALL THE BEAUTY
THAT STILL REMAINS.
Let us keep an eye out for His beauty.
hugs from Meme

And the doctor said.......

2009-06-02T21:42:00.002-06:00

Finally got the to see the doctor re my tummy and this is my story--ignore any thing that mentions cancer as I am ok there- however I do not know how to delete all the info and still make sense--

1. Barrett's Esophagus Barrett's esophagus. Barrett's esophagus (BE) leads to abnormal changes in the cells of the esophagus.
About 10% of patients with symptomatic GERD have BE. In some cases, BE develops as an advanced stage of erosive esophagitis. While obesity, alcohol use, and smoking have all been implicated as risk factors for Barrett's esophagus, their role remains unclear. Only the persistence of GERD symptoms indicates a higher risk for BE.
Not all patients with BE have either esophagitis or symptoms of GERD. In fact, studies suggest that more than half of people with BE have no GERD symptoms at all. BE, then, is likely to be much more prevalent and probably less harmful than is currently believed.
. When BE patients develop abnormalities of the mucus membrane cells lining the esophagus (dysplasia), the risk of cancer rises significantly. There is some evidence that acid reflux may contribute to the development of cancer in BE.

2. plus...
this is the second problem most likely due to the first problem--dysphagia
If the esophagus becomes severely injured over time, narrowed regions called strictures can develop, which may impair swallowing (a condition known as dysphagia). Stretching procedures or surgery may be required to restore normal swallowing. Strictures may actually prevent other GERD symptoms, by stopping acid from traveling up the esophagus. I also have neurogical problems in the muscles of the esophagus and this also has too be watch closely in case I lost my breath as I need these muscles to work when I breath-- It has a name too but I lost it some where in my head-

3. a H. hernia about 1 inch--

--
there is things that could be done but I told him that I am just not emotionally or physically well enough to make any decisions right now and so I will see him again on September 3 where he will explain my options. He also gave me a new prescription that should help some. My option right now is to ask for prayer. I would like to spend a joyful summer eating and with no pain. I am too thin now and need to build up my strength-- the reason I am so tired is that I am not getting enough calories due to my high metabolism and severe tummy problems .
and that is my story- and I will be back soon with another tale-
hugs from Meme who so appreciates her friends and the prayers.

surviving cancer

2009-05-29T22:52:00.002-06:00

I am following some women on blogs
who are fighting and surviving
breast cancer.
I had a mammogram yesterday and I am sure that all is well
as there were no indications of problems but it was my time...
it was not too bad to have my cups turned into saucers
I notice over the years so may improvements in the
way the mammogram are done that it is so easy and
almost pain free- and the wee amount of pain is worth
the knowledge of knowing how you are doing.
and it takes very little time, so " no time '' is
not an excuse.
My grand daughter asked me about mammograms today
about when she should have one?
of course, she has many years to go before
she needs to have a mammogram but I got
a chance to tell her how to check her breasts
and that she should be checking
at least once a month
and what to look for--
I gave her some web sites that are good for
showing her what to do and in pictures.
so the mammogram that I had was worth it
to me and to her as it opened a door.
Ladies- go have your mammogram if it is
past due.
Do it in honor of the ladies fighting breast cancer.
and do it for your family. It is a good thing.
and even though death ended papa hubby's
cancer journey; I feel we both were cancer survivors.
--hugs from Meme

cherrio blessings

2009-05-27T23:30:00.003-06:00

I saw this quote the other day and it gave me a heart cheerio so
I thought that I would pass it on.

''You can touch my dust, but please don't write in it.''

author unknown but
I am sure the author was not Martha Stewart-LOL

I pray that each of you will take some time each day
to laugh. Remember when we were kids and we would
giggle at nothing. Too often we forget to use the
cheerios in our day. God often sends these cherrios as blessings
to heal our hearts.
Have a great rest of the week - and laugh a lot.

happy hugs from Meme

PAPA'S DRIVEWAY

2009-05-25T22:38:00.001-06:00

When we first moved into this house our backyard where we parked was a muddy weed mixed with grass bog. Every time it rained we had to walk through or around puddles to get to the car. The kids always had dirty socks and fun playing in the puddles. And every winter was a night mare to get out of the yard.
We did not have the money to spend on fixing a drive way as there were always other needs. About ten years ago, papa decided that he wanted to fix the drive way so that we could get in and out with more ease and also escape the mud. We had no money so papa went to our local gravel yard with his truck and started bringing gravel home. They had a special pile of crushed gravel that was free if you loaded it yourself. He loaded it by shovel and unloaded and we needed many loads as we only had a half-ton and a big space to fill.
Once he got the gravel here- he then unloaded it by hand and started to make our drive-way.-It was hard work as he not only trucked in the gravel for the driveway, unloaded it but he also packed the gravel by hand. We could not afford to rent a packer. He made a special packer from his imagination that worked well so that our drive way was compact. He made the driveway wide enough for 2 vehicles plus wide path ways and brought it right to the balcony so we had no puddles to wade through.
-Because gravel settles into the mud he had to do this 3 times that summer and then the next summer he repeated the whole process twice. He was a hard worker and did all this in his spare time. He continued to add more gravel for two more summers and pack it by hand until he had the perfect driveway for our truck and car.All his neighbors were amazed that one man would and could do all that work by hand.
Every year a few weeds sneak in trying to grow in the gravel and papa would go after them with his weed killer.This year the weeds came again- not a lot but enough to annoy me and also if they are let go our drive way will become a weed garden and I was not willing to see that happen. Today I went out and dug out all the weeds by hand-- I do not know how to operate papa's weed pump and so I simply dug them out with a meat fork so that I could also get the roots. I filled a 5 gallon pail packed with the weeds.
It was a hard job kneeling on the gravel but it felt so good- I had such peace and joy to be doing something to honor papa hubby by keeping his drive way up to speed. I felt his joy of when he made the driveway.His joy was/is my joy.

HUGS FROM MEME

A WONDER DAY......

2009-05-20T20:05:00.002-06:00

I had a wonderful birthday yesterday.
both daughters called---
my brother called me and I received
many many emails and I know a snail mail
is coming soon too---
and friends brought us over supper
and although they could not stay
for supper they had time for a visit-
so it was a very good day for Meme
I was blessed to write the ''Birthday Story''.
even though it was bittersweet
it was a day I wanted to share-
as my gift to you.
last year this time there was no time
to write the story and the timing was not right.
weather wise we had rain and sleet and snow and gray skies
and then after supper a blue sky with some sunshine-and -clouds.
it reminded me of this new journey-----
that I am on.....we got through the weather yesterday
and I will get through this journey -
blue skies peeking through among the gray-
sometimes rain and sometimes sun.
all the things I need to grow.
now Meme has overdone for her age-
and I need to have an early rest tonight.
Thank you for the wonderful greetings and
for your gifts of prayer and encouragement
that you have blessed me with this last year.
hugs from Meme

A BIRTHDAY STORY

2009-05-19T20:42:00.000-06:00

last year this time was my big 60 birthday
papa hubby had been looking forward to this date
since the day I turned 59 as he liked the fact
that we would be in the same decade--LOL
both in our sixties- this only happened for a year
and a bit as he was nearly 9 years older than me
but of course - last year was our cancer journey
and his plans had to go on hold........
but papa was not one to be defeated by cancer
when he made plans he made plans --
= so he talked to the pastor
and with ease- convinced the pastor to have
a cake at the church for me----the pastor had
to tell me a few days ahead of time as there
was no guarantee that papa would have the strength
to go to church that day---so it was decided that
I would go----with out him and Miss Ashley would
stay with papa-----but papa hubby was determined
to go and so Bonnie and I took him but late so that
he would have enough strength ---to last an hour or two-
we took him there with great care- and parked as
close to the front door we could so he did not have
to walk one step more than was needed-
he was very weak by then and taking a small step
was hard work ........
we got there and the deacons were waiting for him
and me and they helped him into the sanctuary
and because the pastor knew papa and I had
to come late to conserve his energy
he gave papa hubby a nice welcome as
papa had not been able to go since April
our church is small enough to do that
and every one knew papa hubby and his journey-
after the service we had cake in the main foyer
and we put papa hubby on a chair
everyone came to see him and shake his hand
he was so blessed
and it was a ''good bye'' time for him
and his friends
yes, it was my birthday and we ate cake too
but the day was really a honoring of David
we knew that there would be no more
Sunday outings for him as he could
barely walk- and sitting required too much
energy
and he got to see his two daughters in church
as the Ashley invited them too
and we all stood there around papa hubby
some one bought me flowers to add
to papa's special cake
it was a nice time and not long
as we/they knew papa was too weak
we brought him home and
he was so tired but happy
happy to give me a surprise and
happy to see his friends again
happy that his plans happened-
we both knew it was his last time
we knew that he could not walk much longer
his legs were like stove pipes( that is what the doctors call them
and his tummy
make him look pregnant as his body grew a water blister
around his cancer thinking to protect it from
the foreign body-(cancer does this to some patients)
also
he was going through
his chemo side effects but God gave him the strength
to go one more time -
looking back is bittersweet - but with thanksgiving
it is a birthday I will always remember-
his family all together and his church friends
shaking his hand and hugs and kisses
and praying for him and with him
it was a wonderful moment in time
that will always be in my heart
so that is my birthday story
and now today is another birthday
a new year for me...
and I am learning to live with out papa David
to celebrate the moments-
to count my blessings and
not the candles-
and to share the memories
that I hold in my heart.
hugs from Meme

SNOW DAY HERE

2009-05-18T21:22:00.001-06:00

that is right- we got the SNOW and it is still on the ground- about 2 inches and maybe more tonight-we were organized enough to bring in Miss Ashley's planter boxes that had already come up- and the ones that were too big for us to lift I covered with glass windows(old and was going to toss but decided to keep for this very reason--LOL) and then blankets- I can only hope that this is warm enough to save them for her- now she knows why Oma says not to plant seeds in this part of Alberta before May 15- I know that the seeds can be replanted but she did it with such joy and excitement that I am praying to save them for her- on the grand scale of things this is small but to see Miss Ashley have joy is joy to me------so I shoveled snow today and also took advantage of the snow day to do nothing. I did tidy as I did normal daily living so the house is no worse than yesterday night and maybe even a little better.

hugs for SNOWY ALBERTA CANADA

sunshine adventure

2009-05-18T00:15:00.003-06:00

Miss Ashley got out papa hubby's big sander today
and worked on a old
bench we have on our front lawn-
the sander is bigger that she is- well, almost
but she tried hard and did well
another day we will paid it---
when I was watching her I could see that she was
taking what she remembered papa doing...........
we have to put on some new sand paper -
once we find it-
she knew to use the wire brush first to take off
the loose flakes of paint etc-before sanding
she did not finish but she will.....
she is quite possessive of papa's shop
and only wants me or her in it yet-
but she will grow as she fiddles with his things
and Oma aka Meme will watch and
bite her tongue and pray-
other than safety measures I do not comment ---
I oiled our board walk that is beside the house
it is quite a job and something papa hubby always
did but I watched him too ---
and it looks fine now that it is done
= the oil is to protect it from the rain
and snow - papa made it for me to put my flower
boxes on etc-
speaking of snow - we were promised some tonight-
and where was the boy who is a friend??!
while Miss Ashley and I did our papa things
sitting on the front step watching us--LOL
and this is a good lesson to teach us adults
that children do watch what we do..even
when we think they are not-----and so
I am glad that the things Miss Ashley
watched her papa grandpa do were
good things--
saw this wee blessing in a old book
and I want to share it with you---
A prayer for you is said today
May the love of God ever with you stay;
Where ever you are-
What ever you do-
May the blessinig of God rest on you.
hugs from Meme

A WILD RIDE,,

2009-05-16T22:46:00.001-06:00

neither Miss Ashley and I can drive but we have papa hubby's car which I gave to Ashley- we have to start it now and then and so we sat in it today with Dogman and listened to the tape that papa had in the tape deck- it was the old country music and yodeling by a lady singer that papa enjoyed- we turned it up high and then Ashley backed the car up to the end of the drive way and then parked it again- LOLwe had such fun making a memory and sharing memories-Dogman enjoyed the ride too...and I am sure the neighbors are in grief now watching and listening to us--the tape has sat in there for two winters now and played as good as new-
hugs from Meme

end of the week

2009-05-15T22:55:00.002-06:00

times seems to fly by when one is not feeling well
but I did accomplish a lot of little things this week
ran into things of papa hubby's again
and it always a hard decision to decide
what to do with his things-
do I toss it?
do I keep it?
do I sell it?
do I give it away?
and I find things of mine too
but the decision is easier
because it does not hold old memories
Papa always had a vision
to use what ever he kept
some day was a day of the week
to papa--LOL
and he did make some great things.....
he just had that kind of imagination.......
I have started my crocheting again
found the crochet cotton I forgot I had..
this is a nice red - and - I am just doing
a granny square table cloth--it will be about
33 by 33 as that fits my table
that I want to put it one...
it is a little over half done and I will have enough
to do one more- and I plan to use it(them)
in any season as Christmas is all year
in my heart...the next one I make I
will attempt a pattern but my
right side brain is not working with
the left side yet...
grief not only steals your joy many days
but it also steals your rememberer--
I discovered today that I am one day
younger than I thought--LOL
I thought my birthday was this coming Monday
but it is really this coming Tuesday-
I will write a birthday tale from last year
on my birthday-----
stay tuned because it is a good story
that I have not told yet--
Meme must go now
and I will be back-
big canadian hugs from Meme

A MOMENT WITH MEME

2009-05-13T00:21:00.002-06:00

I am here but I have been off sick
just having some major tummy problems
and will eventually see the specialist again
I have had 2 appointments in the last few weeks
and both have been cancelled by the doctor
so now May 22 is the next appointment
also have a burst of grief -
mother's day was hard for me as papa hubby
always made a wonder day for me
I shall be back soon with a tale
or two-
and share some more memories that
cannot fade-
hugs from a windy rain snow cold night-
which reminds me of this verse-
---the wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it,
but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone
who is born of the spirit. John 3:8 NKJV
good night, friends
from Meme

book club day

2009-05-06T22:38:00.002-06:00

today was our monthly book club at the library
where a bunch of us get together and giggle
and sometimes discuss the book and it does not
matter if we have read it or not-
we do not take ourselves or the books seriously
and have tea and fun and chat
this is one of the few things that papa hubby
and I did not do together- it open to men
and women but so far no men have stayed
beyond the first meeting --LOL
none of us can imagine why?!
it was good to get out and giggle about
life and things and eat cookies with no calories
I did settle last night after writing my blog
writing things out helps me to rest my mind
Miss Ashley cut Dogman's hair with the clippers
but he will not let her/me do his legs so he
looks rather funny- he usually looks like
a cross between a feather duster and a mop
and now he looks like he is wearing leggings
she gave him a shower too and then we
left him alone for another day...
we chatted about how we miss telling
papa hubby these things of every day life
and I find when I write my papa stories
that I loose a little drop of pain---
have a wonder night and I am going shopping
with a friend tomorrow so if I do not come in
tomorrow-- look for me at the local wal-mart
and remember that:
''''Neither death, nor life, nor angels,nor rulers, nor
things to come........will be able to separate us from the
love of God. Romans 8:38-39

widow thoughts

2009-05-06T01:30:00.002-06:00

I am restless tonight and just thinking about

the way we were and wondering how to be a widow!?

I was raised to be a wife-

and although we talked about one of us

leaving first

it was always a some day conversation
about when ever that would happen
it was in the future but it was not reality
we made our wills to take care of each other
but it was a some day thought
and now some day came and went
and I am here and papa hubby is not
the hardest thing to do is to take his name off of things
some things I can leave for now - and
it is unreal to walk downtown with his
death certificate in my purse
I only carry it if I have too and I
simply cannot read it--sigh--
he made sure that I would be left ok
and that nothing would be in my way
as I follow this track on
a new journey but alone
my heart rejoices that he is with the Lord
and that the Lord knew best
but my heart just hurts
I had a fear that I might not remember him
every day- that some how I might forget how we were
and then I read another widow's journey
and realized that God will keep papa hubby's
memories in my heart
God will keep me safe in the love that we had
because love is stronger than death
hugs from Meme

simple supper and day

2009-05-06T01:02:00.000-06:00

we had a few spring showers this evening so soon the flowers
will start to grow
some green grass is peeking through
I love spring and our spring is late this year
playing peek a boo........
I had a simple day ....and made some chilimac for supper
it is quite simple-
(1 pound) hamburger
brown the hamburger - drain extra fat- add tomato soup-
1 can water
and a wee bit of pizza or spaghetti sauce
I added half a cup and then add 1 tablespoon chili powder
this is a recipe from Meme's head so the details are
kind of sketchy- (wink)
bring to low boil-and added another cup of hot water
and add 1 cup of macaroni
cook(low) for 20 minutes-
mixture should just have tiny bubbles or
it will burn.........
(this can be made in the oven also but my
oven is not working right now)
and serve to two teen age-rs-
help your self first as there will be no left-overs
we shredded some cheese as topping and also
would have had sour cream but we were out-LOL
we had no healthy salad or veggies but we had buns :-)
this was just a fun meal for Oma who was
taking some time off to enjoy her simple day-
one pan to wash....
you can double this recipe etc- and it will thicken
as it cooks..........
hugs from Meme aka Oma

jammie day

2009-05-05T00:02:00.002-06:00

Meme had a jammie day which is another way of saying I did not
want to get all dressed up with no place to go----
every once and a while and some times more often
I just putter about doing the chores in my jammies
they are quite cosy and comfortable and respectable too
I had planned on having a do nothing day until
I made the mistake of entering the doom room
which translated is the room where Miss Ashley resides
I decided to check under the clothes and see if the rug
was still there and then I did the Oma thing
Oma-s can do these things that mothers should never do
I did her laundry- as a gift to her
she was sad today and went to work sad
due to some family issues and because it is better
for Oma- to say less sometimes I decided to give
her the gift of clean laundry---
I also freshened her blankets by tossing them into
the dryer with that vanilla smell she so loves-
the things that made her sad did work out partly
but not enough to heal her hurts
and we just have to continue to pray
for her and them - she comes from a split home
back ground and is often stuck in the middle
of problems which belong to others who should know better-
I do not do these things for her
often but I felt that it was a
cheerio that she needed at this time
--she was still quite emotionally needy tonight
but has settled now in her clean bed
and oh yes, the rug is still there--LOL-
pray for her heart to be healed as she has
been broken for so long
hugs from Meme

spring in our yard

2009-05-04T00:03:00.000-06:00

yesterday and today were good weather days here and so
we began to clean up the yard and do spring chores
Miss Ashley and I did a lot of work and the boy who is
a friend lent us a hand but I must say we are much more
intent- he is a good helper for lifting and watching_LOL
we did a lot and we both sure missed papa hubby here
we trimed trees and raked leaves and cleaned - and cleaned
I am a year behind as last spring papa was our priority-
it was nice working together and discussing papa memories
the church misses him a lot too
as he did the yard work there too
but I will not be able to take over that job
Miss Ashley did plant some flower seeds but I think she is
rushing Alberta weather- but this is how she learns and there is
always a chance that we will not get a spring snow in May--LOL
she also topped some of the trees that papa planted when a
grand child was born - so we have a few
she is strong- Oma could hardly pick up the trimmers but she
did a good job- and would have passed papa's inspection -
the boy who is a friend and the future husband
made supper and burned it and burned it--LOL
smoke and smoke and more smoke
we ate it anyway as we workers were hungry
but a tough frying pan mess- sigh- he used two so
we still have two frying pans soaking -
I think one should not cook if there is a hockey game on TV
but every thing will come out in the wash and the smoke
has disapated so we do not run into one and other -LOL
good night, all--happy spring
hugs from Meme aka Oma

Meme skipping

2009-04-30T23:40:00.000-06:00

Meme is skipping.....
alas- not exercising but skipping the Internet
my hours seem to be short this last week or two
and it is not the weather of spring yet
we have had some snow nearly every day
so our spring chores are delayed
and I am not accomplishing a lot but I
am content to do next to nothing
for a while
on Tuesday I stayed in jammies and bed with tea and crackers
and the dog and had a nice rest
napped and channel changed=
it was of good of papa hubby to leave the remote here--LOL
I am feeling like the stone of grief has moved from my heart
and although the grief is there I can see light -
I laugh more now and I am seeing pieces of Meme
coming back.....I know that papa hubby would want that
his name is no longer on the member list at church because
he moved on--
that was a big step for me to realize that he has no earthly
cares and pain and grief- and he left so much joy behind
plus a lot wood and rocks and saws and tools and magazines
and his model cars and so on and so on
and precious memories-
I was thinking of one tale
tonight which I will share soon and
we can laugh together=
How good God is............
sharing a unknown author's thoughts

''the Lord is my shepherd,
my Father and friend
He comforts me in loneliness
His kindness knows no end-
He fills my home with memories
and quiet thoughts to keep,
He fills my heart with hope
and joy and peace...
as I face the world again --
hugs from Meme

the me in Meme

2009-04-27T22:13:00.002-06:00

some little things about me that I may have told before
but they are worth telling again :-)
1./ I love colored socks- any color but the brighter the better
I do have one pair of white socks but only wear them in case
of an emergency--
2./ I like sugar in my tea- unless it is strong tea that someone makes- I
generally like my tea medium - I go by the color- LOL
3./ I am skinny as a bean pole and have always been on the thin side
daddy was slim as well as his sister- my brother weights twice what I
weigh but he is taller and he weighs 200 pounds
4./now you know that I have one brother - mom and dad are gone - I have 2
daughters and 6 grandchildren
5./ I was born in the same town that I live now-
but I was raised on a farm out west- not quite the wild west but close and
I live in Alberta, Canada and have never been out of Canada-
6./I have been a christian since 1987 and have never looked back- the old
life is gone and I am a new creation- The Lord is my shepherd.

that is all folks for this time- hugs from Meme

A NEW WEEK

2009-04-26T20:42:00.000-06:00

I have had a good week
keeping my peace with hope
but peace is not with out sorrow
I went up stairs this week and began
to take papa hubby's world on earth
apart-
this is difficult as he was such a hobby man
wood work - hockey cards- comic books- rocks
and anything else that took up his time
plus a lot of etc. :-)
he enjoyed these things and also was a keeper
and it is difficult to sort through his treasures
and decide what to toss and what to keep and
what to give away-
He made beautiful diamond willow walking sticks
and canes from scratch- he cut the trees -dried them
and peeled the bark and etc- it is quite an interesting
hobby and requires hard work and patience--
the cancer came so fast and so hard that he
never had the time to organize or clean up his things
and he fussed about that but I assured that all
was well and that I could do it for him later
it is later now and he no longer has need of
his earth treasures but I am glad that he had them
he used to drink in bars and was a bit on the wild side
and then in 1972 he came home and said that he
was not going to drink anymore as he could see how it
was hurting me and he never did!!
he just quit and asked
God to replace his alcohol with something else and
God did and He gave papa hubby a love for nature -
He could find pictures in rocks and wood-
He make rings and things with the rocks after
he cut them and polished them and
he just knew how to pick out the art of God
so now as I go through his things I find treasures too
a lot I will give to family members- no matter the value
things are things on earth and heaven is coming
I think of being on this side of heaven and papa
hubby is on the other side and our love
is eternal-
what a wonderful thing to know the plans that
God has for each us-
hugs from Meme

checking in....

2009-04-21T22:48:00.002-06:00

I am getting behind on blogging
but I have been enjoying the fresh air and sunshine
I am doing ok
I did not think I would ever be ok again
but I am.......the grief is quiet for now
I remember when our kids were little and how
at the age of two they would want to be to independent
but every once in a while they would suddenly cling
to us even if they knew we were just leaving the room
and would return.....
and trying to untangle a two year old who has decided
to hang on to a leg was no small feat- and I remember
how I would bend down and pick them up and hold
them and reassure them that mama loved them and would
not go away -
and that is how this grief is----I know Jesus is with me
but sometimes I have to just hang on to Him for dear life
as if He was going to leave the room with out me and He
does bend down and pick me up and hold me and love me
and reassure me- that He is my comforter and shepherd
and we will go or not go together..........
He loves me and you......and that is enough for me-
have a wonder week and I will try to report in with
a tale or two--
hugs from Meme

Rejoice

2009-04-17T21:50:00.002-06:00

I saw this quote today on a bookmark in one of our old books
I am clearing out books and of course. keeping most
they are 99 percent christian and the other are books like
''Little Women"" -- when we became Christians we got rid
of anything that we did not want our kids or grand-kids
or friends to read- had a big bonfire out at a friend's farm
and we have be blessed ever so much by reading God's Word
and books God approved.........
oh, I for got - the quote
here it is
REJOICE IN EACH DAY AND LEAP FOR JOY
I know that I can rejoice each day but I have to admit
my leaps are not too high- the old knees do not like the landing
it has frog on the bookmark
and a frog stuffie was papa's keeper
that Miss Ashley gave him after cancer
He had Ugly frog with him in the hospital
Ugly is the name as it is ugly-LOL
but it gave papa something to say when
the nurses would ask- why a frog?
because papa could tell to
FULLY RELY ON GOD
== F R O G
well, Meme needs to rest now and I just wanted to
wish everyone a wonder weekend
hugs from Meme

BECAUSE I LOVED HIM

2009-04-16T21:47:00.002-06:00

this morning I was having one of those "" why""" moments
why God?
why papa hubby?
why me?
and then I heard that small quiet voice
that we all can hear when we listen with our heart
""BECAUSE I LOVED HIM
BECAUSE HE IS MINE
HE IS MY BELOVED""
and then I knew that all the crys
of my heart have been answered
that God was in control
that God was right
and that God so loved papa David
that He gave his beloved and only son so
that David did not perish but has everlasting life-
and this afternoon I was sitting on the balcony
with Dogman on his loveseat (yes, Dogman has
his own loveseat outside too)
and the sun was shining on us
and the breeze was warm
and the world was silent
and all was well with my soul.
I had peace beyond understanding
He is my shelter from the storm-
hugs from Meme

the Sliver

2009-04-15T23:28:00.002-06:00

today Miss Ashley got a sliver in her hand-(she is dear grand daughter-19- who lives full time with Oma now due to family issues )
Now papa hubby was the doctor hug in our house- he dealt with the blood and bruises and slivers and the tears- Oma was back up...........
Miss Ashley broke down and cried and cried for her papa - she would not let Oma help except to listen - she needed papa- I got her supplies- needle and tweezers and kleenex
she did get it out on her own with many tears- it was not the pain of the sliver that made tears but that papa was not there to do it or comfort her........but I am so proud of her as she worked both the sliver and the tears out-
it is important for her to cry also - she was a blessing to her papa in his cancer journey
she was here for him from the first day and did not shy away from helping him- she even cut his hair for him and lifted him in bed for comfort and the last night before his home
coming she held his eyes open for his to see- his muscles were too weak - she just knew what to do and he would always thank her - she knew he wanted to see us and she knew how long to hold them open and then let them rest- it gave papa a rather surprised look and we all had a memory making laugh-
the nurses were surprised that a teen age girl would spend so much time with him and do careful caring things for him- she taught them a lot about love .........
so you- see- the sliver was more than a sliver- it was a memory -
she is fine now and we both talked about papa being safe from slivers in his eternal life-
huggles from Meme who is still learning.....

I cannot walk alone.........

2009-04-13T22:21:00.002-06:00

I thought that I could manage my grief by this time- but thoughts of mine
are not the Lords- His thoughts and plans are good for me and my future
and so He guides me in the grief- I do not know where I am at except past the
beginning - I thought I could run away from the grief and I thought I could
walk alone in the grief- but I can do neither
I had a opinion that some how grief effected my relationship or walk
with the Lord- I thought that I should have it all together by now but I
did not trust in Lord's timing........
I can say that the grief is less painful and more joyful
I know- it is hard to understand this joy.........but as I miss the world
that I had - I see a new world opening for me- a world with out papa hubby
but a world with memories of him as husband- father- papa -
Papa hubby has gone to his new home and the Lord is preparing a place
for me also but until He takes me home
I must put my trust in Him and follow what ever path He leads me on-
I believe that grief will always be a part of our walk because grief is
a result of love-
so some days I will come with tears and some days I will come
with laughter
but my friends- I will come because I cannot walk this journey
alone and I know that the Lord is leading to touch the hearts of
others - friends are gifts from God
and while I am talking and walking my/our
Lord is my shepherd
He will not leave me alone
and He will not leave you alone
hugs from Meme

pretty blogs ---------

2009-04-10T22:11:00.002-06:00

just enjoying so many pretty blogs and noticing how artistic many of you are
I debated the fine art of making a pretty blog
but so far my artistic side is plain and simple
next fall I may take a course in shining up my blog
a few ladies on some blogs have offered to help me
I am a slow learner right now - so decided- to wait...
I need to go back to my normal writing one day soon
so far my mind thinks mostly in points or bullets--
and commas and capitals have gone south-
I am having a harder time getting back to
who I was
it is almost as if I cannot remember who I was
I was a part of a whole - but not a half- together the two of us
made one and now I do not know how to go back
but I know that the Lord who made us two into one
loves me in what ever state of a fraction I am-
He will put the pieces together again
and I will be whole again
the nights are not so long now
and the days have more sunshine
spring has sprung--
have a wonderful week end
keep walking with the King
He loved us enough to die for you and me
and He has risen- He has risen, indeed!
hugs from Meme

The Me in We......

2009-04-09T20:20:00.002-06:00

I realize that I have not told you a lot of things
about me as my mind is still caught in the grief
so here is a bit of this and that's
I was raised on a farm - with one brother
my father was a homesteader and born
on his father's homestead in 1910 ( grandpa came from Sweden)
mother was also a homesteader's daughter(grandpa came from Scotland)
they lived about 3 miles a part -
brother has the original homestead now -just over 100 years old
the farm that is ..not brother Bill-LOL
we did not have running water- unless we ran and got it
or indoor plumbing of any kind
the old out house is still standing
and father and mother build a modern house in 1970
our heat was wood cut from the homestead trees
dried for a year and then sawed into logs for the heater
and split for the kitchen cook stove
coming to town was quite an experience for me
to have bath tubs and taps and a stove
that turned on with buttons
I was raised to be a wife........
and married at what would be considered now
as young but was normal in my life.
I was 18 and papa hubby was 27 -
he was never considered too old for me--LOL
that was how life was in the fifties and sixties
we had 2 daughters- Bonita and Tammy
I worked part time but only jobs that I was able
to do when papa hubby was home so our
kids were not baby sat often........
I took an rehabilitation practitioner course
and worked for 15 years at a group home
this was during a time when hubby was injured
with his back and had 6 back fusions
sadly none of them helped and he was
disabled the last 12 years but still very independent
we spent most of our time together--
when one or the other was not working
we did not ever become rich in money
but we were rich in love........
we both gave our hearts to the Lord in 1987
and began our walk with the our Shepherd..
I, from watching Billy Graham and papa hubby
at the little pentecostal church I made him go too-
that is a funny story but I was scared to go
as I had heard so many strange stories
and when we got there- we discovered a lot of
normal folks went there too-LOL
we were so blessed by God in that church
but sadly it broke down when our pastor retired
and many members left -
because we took our grand kids to church and
we needed one with a Sunday School.. so
we found a new church for them- Papa hubby
took grand kids to church for 18 years- and
I am so glad we/he did........we/I attend a church of the
Nazarene now - at papa hubby's memorial service
our dear pentecostal pastor was there for us too
you will get to notice other things about me as
I write here- I am more of an introvert and
I will be 61 in May and I don't feel a day over 60 (grin)
I clean our church to help my income now that hubby is gone--
I love the Lord and I am so thankful for what He has done for me
I hang on to my hope--as -- I miss my papa hubby
whose name was David Allan- and I know that he
is indeed in peace with no pain or sickness or disabilities
huggles from Meme
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD!!!!!

Clearing out

2009-04-08T23:25:00.000-06:00

this year's spring cleaning is really a clearing out
it is hard to imagine how many things a couple
will hang on to and now that I am alone
the things- have less meaning
so I have been busy clearing out =
papa hubby was a keeper of things
and he often kept them in various places
so I run into things all the time
some times it is a good find
like yesterday finding a special silver dollar
from the royal canadian mint- 2006
complete in case and unopened
made of fine silver
it is to celebrate something but I
can not guess what and I do not want to dig
it out of the case right now - need gloves for that
that was papa hubby's rule--LOL
then to day I found that we paid all our household
bills in 2000 - so I shredded them with no gloves
I found a quote also but with no author
I will share it with you as I think that it
applies well to my new life
LORD, PLEASE GIVE ME COURAGE AND STRENGTH TO WALK ALONE, SO I MAY TURN EACH STUMBLING BLOCK INTO A STEPPING STONE.
I am doing that as I move in this journey- some days I stand still--
some days I fall down- some days I get up and some days I take a step
but I always stay with my SHEPHERD-
I will continue to clear out as I move along this journey
have a wonder filled day tomorrow
and pause for a moment to tell someone
you love- that you love them and give them
a meme hug
huggles from Meme

ANOTHER MEME DAY

2009-04-06T21:46:00.002-06:00

what a lovely weather day- sunshine and soft breeze
and melting snow**
when I walked down town I had on no hat or gloves
this is the first time in 2009 for the gloves and the second day for the hat
the grand daughter and I went to do some small shopping
and then I stopped off and did the church chores-
Miss Ashley rested while I did them because
her feet hurt--LOL- and I thought I was the older lady
alas she is still a teen which means she buys shoes for looks
and not comfort.........
we had a nice day outing together
and we found the neatest book
called ---"I Remember Grandpa''
It is like a journal where you put all sorts of
special memories of grandpa so Oma is going
to do them with the girls-(I got each of the g'kids one)
Miss Ashley is old enough
to put in her memories-
they will be a wonderful
journal for the younger kidlets and if we do them
together Oma can help them with some of the
memories- there are places for photos etc- and
the nice thing is that they were at a dollar store(which
is why I could give one to each of the g'kidlets-
they are made with good quality paper etc -
and have a family tree to also follow and
questions and ideas and a lot of room to write in
the memories-------
so I was pleased- I find that the Lord
gives me so many blessings to help
all of us walk in our grief-
sometimes non christians cannot understand
how I can have joy in my grief
I tell them that my joy is a gift from the Lord
and a gift that Papa hubby prayed for me
before his home-coming-
have a wonder-filled week
huggles from Meme

coffee blessing

2009-04-05T23:41:00.001-06:00

before papa hubby became sick in December of 2007
we would have a special coffee time
together each day- French vanilla instant cappuccino-
it was sort of like a date-
it was a nice time of day for us to just share this and that--
after he came home from the hospital with cancer
we still had our coffee once a day-
papa David was not able to drink the whole cup anymore but he loved
the bubbles (foam) and I would share my bubbles with him-
even his last few days he was able to have his bubbles
but unable to drink the coffee
as he had difficulty swallowing.
after he passed away when I went to the store they were out
of our coffee---
there were other brands but this was the special brand that
he and I enjoyed together
it has been out of stock since last Augest-
and today when I was with Ashley we found some-
yes- the same brand and the same price :-)
I came home and it was so nice to sit down and enjoy
a cup of our coffee and also tell Ashley the bubble story
it was a happy memory and I enjoyed the coffee
and even though, he is not here to share the bubbles
I had a blessing in the heart-

I found a blessing-------

2009-03-28T20:01:00.001-06:00

while continuing to clean out things in the house,
I found a 2 lovely pictures of Papa David Hubby-
-that were taken in 1966 the spring before I met him-
I did not know he had these pictures with his box of stuff..
.I am so happy that I am ''high''--LOL-

they are so precious and I will take them down this week
and make copies for the girls-
-as they do not have pictures that old or before us or them---
--he was so handsome-- and cute and--------blond.
I was a bit shallow at that time as I was so young-
like just barely 18(that summer)
-so I went out with him for his looks and his car--LO
Land love came to stay with us-
and we were married in October--(1966).

I have been cleaning odds and ends in the house
for a couple of years now-
a day here and a day there
*going through all those boxes where one tends to stuff things for later.........
...and these were in one of papa hubby's evelopes that he kept special things-
I never went into his things before his death as
we were very respective of each other's private things--
---he was the same with me.
it has taken me about 2 years to get where I am
( cleaning things we gathered over the years but knew we were keeping )--
and I found 10 dollars too
so that will help pay for the pictures to give the girls copies-
I want to do them for Easter gifts----
-what a family blessing!--
hugs from Meme

I could have blogged....

2009-03-23T15:11:00.003-06:00

all day yesterday about papa hubby
my heart was so filled with memories
but it was not a sad day
just day of remembering the
way he was
some day I will share some of his testimony
as cancer was not the only battle he fought
in his life.........
he became a hero of the faith
in 1987 and he knew the joy
of becoming a new man in Christ
I found a picture or two of him
hiding in the computer--LOL
I will share them with you as time goes by,,
although his death is my loss
it is his gain.....
he had this saying before he died
while he was still able to have the
energy to speak more than a word or two
WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH-
THE TOUGH GET ICECREAM
and he did- he loved his ice-cream
(he needed something to help swallow his pills)
and woe to a nurse who tried to use
yogurt instead--
he was a quiet man but he let anyone
know that he was not eating yogurt
ever---never
so he had a standing order of ice-cream
-he did not ask for much very often
so if he asked his doctor for anything
the doctor would insist that it was an''order'.
hugs from Meme and off you go-
for ice-cream

ps- yes that is a picture of papa hubby before cancer on a seniors outing

his favorite thing to do--

I heard the birds

2009-03-18T17:04:00.002-06:00

it is not feeling much like spring here
if we look or feel the weather
but I heard the birds yesterday
and today
they are bravely coming back
to Alberta- the province of sunshine
they are a little late this year
I remember how the robins
came last year early
and entertained papa hubby
as he sat in his chair
they were a reminder to us
that cancer cannot take away
your hope......
even though papa hubby
was not healed
he kept his hope in the Lord
and I know that the Lord
kept His promise to papa..
I will miss papa hubby this spring
but I will keep my hope.......
hugs from Meme

Meme update

2009-03-16T22:34:00.002-06:00

the fire took out the building but it is finally out
they had to tear out with a bull dozer
in order to stop it from spreading
but no lives lost and only one small
injury
Meme is mending too
and thinks she is hanging out to late
with the teen -ager that lives here
and also allergies that come and go
there are 4 business lost and 4 homes
so this week we will try to help
the folks who are homeless now
generally poor folk to begin with
but we know that God is good
and we can do something for Him
many times we are the answer to some-ones prayer
if we stop to listen to God speaking
to our heart
--------
we can always hear His voice
if we listen in the silence-
----
THEN YOU SHALL CALL, AND THE LORD WILL ANSWER,
YOU
SHALL CRY, AND HE WILL SAY,
HERE I AM.
==HUGS FROM MEME==

Meme is off ......and foolish

2009-03-15T20:52:00.001-06:00

having a sick day here but I did do the dishe
sand also 2 loads of laundry- one in the dryer but not feeling up to going out to get it now-
my dryer is in the cold old porch
happy sigh--though as I remember the days of no dryer
= I am camping out in my bed - with some tv and reading
I be back and oh yes-
Meme must confess being foolish- there is big fire down town about 5 blocks away and I walked down to see what is ....-
the one side of the street is burning and all old connected buildings- so we are losing some of our history
but I should not have gone out as it is below freeziiing here and I am sick and also the smoke set my cough off-
some times Meme gets into foolish things and this was one of them-
when I hear about the fire damage I will let you know
pray for our town and Meme
hugs from Meme

your gray hair is showing....

2009-03-12T21:53:00.000-06:00

when Miss Ashley was sick and I took her to the doctor
she needed a prescription which meant we had to stop
at the drugstore
we were told we had about a 20 minute wait
which meant to me 20 minutes of wandering or is
that wondering?-
really for me it was both
as we had time to walk around and I
had no idea how much the prescription would
cost
and to Miss Ashley it meant
20 minutes of shopping
now she is a needy needy hinter
hmm- I need new eye liner
or shampoo or/and
cheezies for dinner or
you know the story
of needy grand girls....especially
in a store where make up
is sold-- but
alas Meme is past the stage of falling for hints
so we were both just wandering/wondering
the isles
window shopping and we went past the
hair dye and I hear the voice behind me say
''Oma, we need hair dye
Your gray hair is showing''!!!
now Miss Ashley is difficult to dis-own
and I had to be the only Oma in the store
that day-
I tried not to laugh -- but it was the serious
tone of her voice that made me crack...
alas- Meme was not ready to hide her silver that
is hidden , I hope and pretend
among her gold. --
I will but another day
like a pay day that does not require prescriptions =
and
I got off blessed that day as we only got
one pretty pink hairbrush re breast cancer
and the prescription
I think I may have bought the hairbrush
out of guilt of trying to pretend I did not
know her--LOL
huggles from Meme aka Oma

our supper

2009-03-11T21:37:00.002-06:00

we baked our supper from last night that I got ready
and it turned out great and enough for tomorrow
it passed teen age inspection
and of course, Dogman too
and it was so nice to just turn on the oven
and let it do the cooking tonight
the nice thing is that we can control
the fat and salt etc.
------------
it is warming here - we got up to minus 17
with a promise of a very nice day
tomorrow - up to around minus 1 or 2
and sunshine too
it is a good thing as I need to clean
Dogman's pee patch
as he has created yellow ice
as it has been so cold
= he is a funny little dog
and likes to go in a special spot
but I don't want him to fall
he is old and did slip once
and dislocated his knee
I think that is what they call it on a dog??
he had to have it popped back ....
---
have a wonder day tomorrow
here us a good quote

''TODAY, CLEAR AWAY THE ICY FEELINGS OF DESPAIR AND UNCOVER THE GLADNESS BURIED IN YOUR HEART,

HUGS FROM MEME AND DOGMAN WAGS

cold out----hot recipe

2009-03-10T23:10:00.001-06:00

we feel like we are in a deep freeze-
the house has that chill to it----------
and feels dry but cold
we have a kettle of water
to bubble out some slow steam
to keep some moister in the air
I did not get much done today
played hooky but dishes are done
found this neat toss casserole which is
adjustable to your family--
also have this recipe ready to go tomorrow
********************************************
2 pounds of ground beef- cook- and drain

1 cup macaroni' - any shape you like- cook

1 cup grated cheddar cheese-

1 can of tomato sauce or spaghetti sauce- about 2 and 1/4 cups( when ever I find
that I am short an ounce or so of sauce I add water to make the correct amount of liquid)

and/ or ----1 cup of left over cooked veggies

and /or ---- 1 pepper diced- semi cook in pan you cooked hamburger in

onions are optional - cook same as pepper

salt and pepper to taste- I use about 1/2 teaspoon of each

-let all cool for 15 minutes and then mix everything together
place in greased casserole dish-and refrigerate
tomorrow night bake in 350F oven for 45 minutes-

- you can adjust the amounts of any ingredients to make the
size that fits you house hold plus using your choice of veggies-
I have made with out the options also
I like this recipe as it is a make a head and just needs to bake- a neat thing to have if around-
if you are expecting a busy day ----- it is so less expensive than eating out and the baking time takes no longer than service in a cafe- you can serve a side salad and you are set to stay home.
hugs from Meme

it is cold outside........

2009-03-09T22:28:00.003-06:00

a very cold Monday here- brrrrrrr
and I
heard a sad comment on TV
about the recession
that many folks would be driven to religion
sigh with a prayer that they find our God
and yes, maybe that is what God must do--
when we have the good times folks
some how decide there is not need for
our God
now we are finding hard times again
folks are looking.....
but what are they looking for?!
a God is is like Santa Claus
or a God to love and worship
I pray that many will find God
and receive in Him into their heart
and realize that God is here and He is
the same today as He was yesterday
and He will be the same tomorrow,
as today
He does care and He loves us
and He is the shepherd
who will lead us up the mountain
and stay with us in the valley
He was with us through out our
cancer journey and He is with me
now as I learn to live my life
as a widow- following her Shepherd
--------------
have a wonder week ////
and I will pop in again soon
brrrrrrrrrrr again= about minus 30 here
but no wind....
freezing hugs from Meme

Happy Birthday, Miss Ashley

2009-03-07T19:49:00.000-07:00

today Miss Ashley turned 19
what a wonderful day as I
remember her birth day
it was much warmer than our day
was here today--
and we were so excited
we were allowed to go into
the birth room with her mommy
they set it up for papa hubby to be there
very private for mom and yet he could
be there
to see what God had done
**papa hubby went home with the angels
in the same room
that Tammy, (mommy)
labored to give birth to
Miss Ashley
she had a easy labour and we
were able to be with her from
the beginning to the end==
papa was a better coach than Oma
Oma was a basket case--LOL
Ashley was a wonder baby
and lived at our house for 5 years
and returned to us last spring
when papa hubby was so sick
she was wonderful to him
and was a gentle nurse grand-daughter
she could hear better than me
during the night and would be
flying by Oma like an angel
if she heard an odd sound
from Papa's room
today is bittersweet
and we both had a smile and a tear
about papa hubby not being here
this year - I found her some gifts
but it was harder shopping alone
as papa always had good imput
and was more willing to over-spend(wink)
Happy Birthday, Miss Ashley
- hugs from Oma aka Meme

cold feet---

2009-03-05T22:47:00.001-07:00

brrrrrrrrrrrrr- it is cold outside
we got our snow storm
with wind and snow and cold
walked down to the church
and some of the drifts were higher than my boots
and my boots are high-
and heavy but warm
papa hubby insisted that I get these boots
before he went to the hospital the first time
he was worried about me having to walk
although he would never have let me
walk any where and never in this
kind of weather
but he knew best in his heart..........
it is a blessing that God laid the boots
on his heart as we did not even know
of the cancer the day I bought them
I bought them to keep his heart happy
and now they keep my feet warm
I have getting tough now as the cold
does not bother me much
I just bundle up and head out
I am looking forward to spring
coming this year as it has been
a long cold winter
but the same God who sent the snow
will melt the snow for our summer crops
Meme is off to find her hot rice socks
to warm her feet
warm hugs

a blue day

2009-03-04T20:21:00.002-07:00

having a blue day today
no particular reason
perhaps the long winter
and the missing papa hubby
and a little bit of this and that
the Bible tells us that there is
a time for everything....
a time to laugh and
a time to cry
I know that my redeemer lives
and that this too shall pass
tomorrow is a new day
and I shall be glad in it and
rejoice
soft hugs from Meme who is hanging
on the Master's hand as
tight as I can*

why ''papa''?

2009-03-03T23:22:00.000-07:00

so many have asked me why I call my dear husband ''papa''
and or papa hubby (David)
it started over 20 years ago at the birth of our first grandchild
we are not even sure who started the name but
the name soon fit.......papa
and then when
our one grand-daughter lived here from birth
until the age of 5 we all, referred to him as Papa
in our everyday talking,,,,.......
when papa David was on his cancer journey
I spent most of my time with him
and also he was used to me calling him
papa- as the grand-kids were often here
I had my own pet name for him which was
POPPY
but now that he is gone I want to keep that
POPPY
for me and him- as it was our special name
but now back to rest of the story
when papa needed help to get up and down
(he could not lift himself out of his chair)
I would direct him where to hang on to me
(he asked me to tell him so that he did not hurt me)
and one day I said ''David, put your arm around me''
and he said- please, call me papa = because I like the way
you say it as I can hear the love in your voice and then I
don't feel like you are my nurse- then I feel like you are
my wife.''--
I never called him David again except to the nurses
as this was so important to him to be called ''papa or 'POPPY
he did not want his family to call him
anything else although he let his brother call him
brother David--LOL
and he always would stop the nurses and ask them
to call him David rather than mister piesse (pro-
nounced peace)
the cancer and the chemo and the medicines
took so much of him away and
he had so little control of what was
happening in his life to him and around him
that I was happy to see him tell us
what he wanted to be called by=
so for me now he will always be ''papa David'' or
''papa hubby-""
---and in my heart POPPY
- and that is our story
Hugs and Blessings,
from
Meme aka Oma (papa's wife)

sense of safety with no commas

2009-03-02T00:43:00.000-07:00

one of the things I do miss about the old days is the sense of safety
that we had
brother Bill and I would walk to grandpa's farm 3 miles away
1/2 mile was side road
and the rest was the main road
there was no phone to use to say
we were coming or
that we had even got there
and the next day we would walk home
we walked to our friend's houses miles
away and again no phones
we were never afraid
and our parents were not either
they had taught us road safey and we
all walked to school every day
and nothing happened
all the kids in our area could do the same thing
now I am afraid to walk to church
after dark and this week-end added
to the fear
in town next door to our town or about 8 miles away
a young lady-age 16 - was kidnapped from the back
of her home
she had gone to the store to get some apple juice
due to a sore throat
an hour later her dad looked out the window
and saw her car sitting there with the lights on
and the door open
when he checked it out- her purse and juice were
in the car and he immediately called in the police
great police work -20,000 posters put out with
in hours and loads of volumteers to help
they knew she was in the city due to pings
off her cell phone
they could not pen her down to a place
as the kidnapper kept her on the move
they did not give up and
the good news is after 46 hours she got away and
got to a pay phone for help
she called her daddy-- daddy daddy-
I begged for my life--
she had been kidnapped and raped by a man
56 years old- the girl had begged for her life
and finally ran for her life
she was smart in that she took something
of his with her to help identify him
sigh-
they got the man today-
how sad is this world that a young lady
can no longer drive to a store and
safely come home again with out fear
pray for the young lady whose name is Jordan
honor student and so very hurt
she did receive injuries but the doctor let her
go home as that was where she needed to be-
this is such a sad story and true to
how we have to live today -
I often think how our world has changed
and some for good and some for bad
hugs from Meme who is praising God for this
girl coming home

sharing a blessing

2009-02-27T00:50:00.000-07:00

flowers for papa
spring comes late here or at least nights with no frost
we generally plant our gardens after May 15
last year as papa hubby got weaker and
finally he could only walk out
on to the balcony
I wanted to brighten the corner where he was
but it was too early for bedding plants
and I did not have time to go anywhere
to find bedding plants already in flower
nor could I even bring the planters in at night
to keep them from freezing
and I could not leave dear papa alone
so I could walk to our local stores
so I decided to do plastic flowers and
got a ride to our local dollar store and
Miss Ashley stayed home with papa
and I bought flowers in many colors
and Ashley got the scissors and
we planted the flowers for papa
he loved them- we had every color of the rainbow
and we were able to fill our planters
with joyful plastic flowers
this was one of our miracles
that God blessed us with----
the flowers are still there in the planters
and we have been blessed
with colors all winter long
-I remember the day our doctor cried
because I wanted to take papa on a trip
not long, not far but some where
and the doctor said
take him to his balcony and
let him hear the birds sing
bring the grass to him
and let him feel the earth one more time
and then the doctor
told us how sorry he was not to be
able to help papa go past our balcony
thank God for plastic flowers
and then God sent us two birds
papa made a lot of birdhouses
and feeders but for the first
time a mama bird came and made
a nest in one of papa's houses
and we would sit very quiet
as she bird and he bird
would sing love songs to each other
and the grass grew green
it was wonderful taking
trips out to the balcony with papa
it was a wonderful spring
filled with
blessings and miracles
hugs from Meme

pizza pizza?

2009-02-24T23:44:00.002-07:00

pizza pizza? anyone?
the grand-kids were here on the week end
so Meme tried to make a pizza
but Meme is blond in this area
but found a dough recipe which
I could handle as I do make bread
now and then
so we made a hamburger and cheese
pizza one day and a chicken and cheese pizza
the next day-I made too much dough for just one.
.both meats were precooked
and it was just the sauce and the cheese and the meat
as we had to build with what we had on hand
our only problem was that the pizzas stuck in the middle of the pan?
have no idea why....
so it was pizza with a fork -----
lol
now Meme has never eaten pizza- sigh-
as Meme had never understood mixed up foods--
however in order to get one child to taste Meme's cooking
I had to take a bite and make a comment
sigh- well,it was good so Meme ate the whole piece both days
this sent the g'kids into shock
as theyhave never seen pizza pass Meme lips before
and it has never happened before maybe I can do this more often
for the Miss Ashley and I
as we are not into cooking a lot
of real meals and according to some
survey somewhere at sometime
pizza can be considered a balanced meal?
could this be true?
hm-mmneed to add some vegetables
and find a non sticking pan?
we added the cooked chicken first and then the cheese
and the meat did not dry out like Meme thought
it might do.......
I need pizza ladies advice
hugs from Meme is still growing up

I finished the corner.......:-)

2009-02-19T20:42:00.001-07:00

I finished dear papa hubby's corner today- dusted and cleaned -sorted and tossed- kept and gave--
it is nice to be done-
this was his corner and I did not go there.........
it was his little corner of his world- and he kept it as he wanted....
.I think everyone should have a little special part of the home that is just their own space
-he cleaned out every Christmas day- but in 2007 he was already in the hospital and no strength to do it when he came home 51 days later and in 2008 he was gone with the angels-
so it was memories covered in dust.
I fixed the top shelf in memory of him and some of his special things - and then his and my keeper books are the second-
and now I will just use the other shelves for this and that of his and mine-
Miss Ashley says that it looks nice and papa would have approved-
this was the hardest area because it was so personal- as Ashley said'' he has lots of corners in heaven and has no need of a personal space here now-and because he was such a social fellow I sure he is busy singing with the angels
- I feel much better- being all done.......and we (the gal and I) both decided that we will dust it every Christmas day as a memory of tradition-
huggles - from Meme

cleaning up......

2009-02-18T23:42:00.002-07:00

some days it seems that I spent a lot of time ''cleaning up''
and it made me wonder how much work I give the Lord to ''clean up''
I find that everyday there are dust bunnies that grow in my heart and
a lot of clutter.......
if only I could keep my heart from gathering clutterlings
clutterlings are those things that do not belong- things that need
to be taking away before they gather more dust...
and I know that sometimes I do not let the Lord in - to clean-
I hide my heart
I cling to the clutterlings
justifying that they are ''just who I am''
I prayer this year is that I will be organized from the inside out-
that little thoughts of sin
that grow into sin
will be cleared away
it is hard to admit that I am not all that I could be for the Lord
and that it is ''not all about me''
God's word says--
Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.
Proverbs 21:2
Lord, come into my heart and clean -
Pray for Meme to allow her heart to be cleaned and that as the Lord
cleans I will not make allow clutterlings in my heart again-and again.
huggles from Meme

PAPA'S NOTE BOOK

2009-02-17T22:19:00.000-07:00

I have started to clean out papa's corner= he had a space by his chair which was a book case but he kept many odds and ends there
it is growing too many dust bunnies now and it is time clear and clean
his area and renew the space -
it was always his space and for some reason he only cleaned it out on
Christmas day--LOL- because he used the area often, the dust did not have time to grow there..........
I found one of his notebooks where he had written down all the words that Jesus spoke- he had the verses etc- from Matthew, Mark, Luke and John- he dated the pages as he copied them and it was precious to see how much time he spent copying out the spoken words of Jesus-
He did not read well so this was an adventure of love for him to do-
- He now can hear the words spoken by Jesus and so I will tuck his dear note book in the garage for now- I find that some memories I must pack away but I was blessed to night to see this one......note book of love..
I am going to pack up a lot of his things for now and store them away until I can make practical decisions- I will keep a few things out but I do not think it is good for me to hang on to his things of this world......
He was a precious gentle-man.
huggles from Meme

A MEME THOUGHT*

2009-02-15T19:12:00.002-07:00

''May my meditation be pleasing to Him, for I rejoice in the Lord. Psalm 104:34

Sometimes our thinking gets away from us and we forget that our thoughts and meditations should be what we want the Lord to hear- He knows our hearts and our thoughts and we cannot hide- we must practice good and pleasing thoughts until they are become automatic in our hearts- filled with purity and good.
If we meditate on His word we will have pure and right thinking because we plant his word into our hearts-
Lord, clear my mind of hasty and careless thoughts and clean my heart that I may pleasing to you- Let your word soak into my mind.
***********************************************************

hugs from Meme

recipe time

2009-02-15T00:46:00.000-07:00

egg-less chocolate cake recipe
****************************
1 and 1/2 flour
3 tablespoons of cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
2/3 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
5 tablespoons cooking oil
1 teaspoon vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup water
--*** Mix the flour- cocoa- sugar- salt and soda
- together in greased 8 by 8 cake pan-
make large hole in middle of mixture and add vinegar,
vanilla, and oil and then water
and beat with a fork until all ingredients are mixed-
--bake at 350F for 25 to 30 minutes-
serve warm with cream or whipped cream-
no need to even take out of pan - until serving

Meme's thoughts today

2009-02-11T22:42:00.002-07:00

soon it will be valentines day -
we always had a party at school and gave out
valentines- we had to make a box for them and decorate
and then the teacher gave us marks for art-
I think everyone passed..........even the boy
who brought a used bird's nest .......
************************************
------------something to think about........
''Love one another as I have loved you''
may seem impossible to do----
But if you trust and believe.
great are the joys
that you will receive.
---How can I/you bring others joy by showing love??
hugs from Meme

it is all about '' D''...........

2009-02-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

it is time to talk about the letter ''d ''in my life...
of course- my first D would be for David - the number one D in my life-
as you know so much of my David Dee I won't repeat it in this blog note
because I feel like you already know him
another D is Dogman - the dog who came to our house to stay- he is 12 plus years now and still manage the household quite well--
D is for my two daughters - 40 and 36 who live close by and have blessed me with 6 grand kids- the daughter names are Bonita and Tammy
D would have to be for doughnuts which is one of my favorite meals- oops- I mean snacks---all the better if they are chocolate coated--but no sprinkles
not sure if there are any ''dee'' fruits but if there is I do not eat them but I can still use ''d'' for dinner- when I grew up dinner was at noon and then our evening meal was supper- there are some folks who have lunch at noon and then dinner at supper time- I still have dinner at noon..
''d''is for dime- when I was a kid we had dime savors from the bank where we would save all the dimes we managed to beg off our grandpa or daddy-when had 5 dollars we took to the back and could our own savings account
oh and I remember the dixie cups that had ice cream in them- in the summer we could go to town with mom and dad and a dime would buy a dixie cup- we would sit on the side walk out side the little grocery store and eat - those were the days...
I cannot think of anymore ''d'' in my life tonight except for the ''days of my life that the Lord has blessed me with''
day by day He is the shepherd......
hugs from Meme

here for ....

2009-02-06T23:41:00.003-07:00

just a few minutes as I am very tired
my cold is better but still have that
spinning head
I miss papa hubby a lot today
some days I have many strugglings
with him not here=
so my heart had no song today
but I know tomorrow will be better
I am sending this verse tonight
because it is my hope
""When the cares of my heart are many,
thy consolations cheer my soul.""
from Psalm 94:14
hugs from Meme